“I guess this is goodbye, Gerard,” she whispered. Goodbye to everything that she thought they shared.
She emptied the ashes and watched as they blew away with the wind, as her life, her love, her marriage disappeared into the night. She tossed the urn and the box into the receptacle and returned to Leo’s car. Remi stood next to it and waited for him.
When Leo returned to the car he pulled her into his arms and held her tightly. He didn’t ask any questions, only provided comfort. She rested her head against his chest. He held her until she was ready to leave. When she had gathered her emotions she nodded, and he released her. Then he openedthe passenger door for her and she climbed in. As they pulled away, she gazed into the area where she’d just released the ashes, then looked straight ahead.
The drive back to Napa was quiet. Leo reached for her hand and held it in his, their fingers intertwined for the rest of the drive home.
He walked her to the door and stood there while she unlocked it.
“You want to come in?” she asked.
“If you want me to,” he said. “I don’t want to intrude. I want you to grieve in this moment … alone if you need to.”
“I don’t want to be alone,” she said softly. “I don’t want to grieve. I want the night to continue to be celebratory.”
He followed her inside. The house was dim, lit only by the glow of the light over the stove and the soft moonlight that spilled in through the windows. Remi slipped off her flip-flops by the door and walked slowly to the kitchen. Leo followed but kept a respectful distance, his eyes on her.
Remi went to the cellar and grabbed a bottle of Merlot. She pulled two glasses from the shelf and poured, handing him one without speaking a word. They stood for a moment in the kitchen, the silence between them thick but comfortable.
“To what are we toasting?” he asked, searching her face, trying to gauge the moment.
She looked up at him, her expression solemn. “To getting through tonight and still finding a way to celebrate the good. To finding joy in the middle of things that aren’t joyful.”
Their glasses clinked.
Remi took a sip and exhaled slowly, like she’d been holding her breath the whole drive home. She set down her glass and leaned against the counter, her eyes soft and glossing over.
“Do you remember the night we had that moment?” she asked.
Leo nodded. “The kiss?”
“I really wanted to kiss you,” she said. “But I didn’t want to confuse comfort with something else. I didn’t really know what I was feeling at that time.”
“And now?” he asked in a quiet voice.
“I’m still unsure. Still hesitant,” she admitted. “But … I’m so damn attracted to you.”
Leo stepped closer, careful not to move too quickly. He set down his glass beside hers on the granite counter. “I’m not here to take advantage of you or this time when you’re feeling vulnerable,” he said. “But I’m also not going to pretend I don’t want to be close to you.”
She nodded and then leaned into him—just slightly. He caught her in his arms, and she rested there, as if that was where she belonged. They stayed like that for a long time. There was no urgency to move, no expectations.
His hands gently touched the small of her back and gently pulled her closer into him. She pressed her forehead against his chest, feeling his breath rise and fall. When she looked up his eyes met hers. He cupped her face with his hands—his fingertips brushing against her cheeks. She leaned into his touch, her lips parting slightly.
The kiss was soft, as gentle as the first time but different. It was like a conversation without words—warm and loving. There was a light tingle in the pit of her stomach. He kissed her again, his hands exploring her spine. She wrapped her arms around his neck, drawing him closer. Remi didn’t want it to end, but she didn’t want it to go any further, either. She wasn’t ready for more yet.
“I feel better now,” she whispered.
“I’m glad.”
The moment wasn’t about fixing anything, or deciding what happened next. It was about right now. It was about removing any guilt that lingered from the first kiss. It was about quieting the voices in their heads about whether it was too soon for them. It was about giving each other permission to do whatever came next. Whenever it came.
Chapter Forty
Bianca
Bianca reached for her ringing phone on the nightstand, squinting at the screen. Her fingers fumbled with it. It was seven o’clock in the morning and Dr. Lee was calling. Her stomach clenched. She sat up slowly, careful not to wake Harry, who lay beside her, barely covered by the thin white sheet, his face relaxed, light snores gently escaping from his mouth.
For a moment she just looked at him, more like admired his body. His arms were still chiseled. It looked as if he still hit the gym three times a week as he always had in the past. His torso was still solid as it peeked from beneath the sheet.