“Do you think our enemies will ask nicely before tearing through your mental guards? Do you think Efnysien will tread carefully on your precious need for privacy?”
The blood drains from my face.
His eyes never shift from mine, boring into me as his voice batters at my resolve.“You believe you do not need lessons. You believe you can face this coming war with sheer bluster, because that’s worked for you in the past. It will not work in the future.”
“You don’t know that.”
“Oh, but I do.”
The challenge in his voice—in his eyes—is unmistakable. His maegic sings even more strongly through me as he drops his guards, releasing his steely grip on the bond that is stretched taut between us. The slack rushes in, swirling through me, uprooting my control. I try to push it back, but it’s impossible. Like trying to scoop water from a flooding boat with your hands alone.
I am sinking.
“You want me out? Prove it. Push back.”
“GET OUT!”I shriek down the bond, finding my inner voice for the first time. It is surreal, but somehow deeply significant, to speak thus. Like a hushed conversation that happens under covers in the middle of the night. Something halfway between dreaming and daylight. Even screaming cannot dispel the intimacy of it.“GET. OUT. OF. MY. HEAD.”
“But I’m not just in your head, skylark,”Soren whispers back, a taunting rumble that shakes me from the inside out.“I’m under your skin. Admit it.”
Operating on pure fury, I throw up a fresh mental air shield,the strongest I’ve ever conjured, and shove with all my might. I am determined to drive him out of my thoughts, to sever the connection he’s forced. To prove him wrong at any cost.
Pain vaults through me, battering my temples, but I keep pushing, pushing,pushing, just as he did with the tsunami, until I feel the water recede. Until I am alone again in my head.
For a moment, I actually think it’s worked. I think I’ve succeeded. I pant, spent by the immense effort, but proud of myself nonetheless. Until I see the look on Soren’s face as he leans deeper into the wall, fully dwarfing me with his frame. A familiar predatory glint creeps into his eyes. There is a flash of silver in the blue, like the whitecap of a wave.
Then I feel it.
Feelhim.
His mind, pressing against the perimeter of mine. Soft at first—a caress, testing my newfound fortifications. The faintest brush. And then, with a swiftness that makes my whole body spasm, he tears through my mental barricade like it is made of paper.
The mark on my chest burns, a cold flame, as he invades, engulfing me where I stand. The calm waters of my mind’s eye, where my power is centralized, flood with him instead of me, his maegic instead of mine. Physically, I am still breathing, yet I feel like I’m drowning, like the oxygen inside my lungs has been swapped out for ocean. He swamps me with a laughable lack of effort.
Not that I am laughing. A scream builds in my throat as all that is Soren sweeps around my head, overturning memories, unearthing secrets. It is not like the first time we channeled. This is not a bolstering gift of strength, a buttress to my inherent limitations. This is an invasion. A hijacking. A full-scale assault of the mind, the maegic, the soul.
There is no possibility of resistance. No chance of fighting back. I stand there, flayed open to him, the depths of my mind painfully accessible. For some reason, he does not dive deep. He stays on the surface, floating high above the recesses that house the darkest parts of me. I wait for the humiliation, for the violation that will surely come.
It does not come.
Staring into my eyes, he lets me drown in him for three endless seconds. A tiny eternity in which I do not draw breath, in which my very heart ceases to beat. Long enough to let me know, if he wanted to, he could take everything from me without batting an eyelash. And then, just as quickly as he pushed in, he extracts himself. His water recedes and my mind is my own once more. My maegic is my own.
Yet in the shuddering, knee-shaking aftermath, I knownothingis my own. Not really. In the space of a heartbeat, he has effectively proved that everything I hold dear, every private memory and close-guarded confidence, ishiswhenever he chooses to reach out and snatch it away.
Pushing off the wall, I plant my hands against his bare chest and shove him back with all my might. He barely budges. But his hands drop to his sides, so he is no longer touching me.
“If you ever do that again,” I hiss, voice breaking with rage,“I will kill you.”
A humorless smile twists his mouth. “You are welcome to try. Many have before. None have yet succeeded. Not even me.”
Some of my anger slips a notch at that admission. I refocus, intensifying my glare. “Are you determined to make me hate you?”
His eyes go carefully blank. “You may hate me. But the truth is, you need me. That may piss you off, but it doesn’t change the facts. A war is coming. It has been brewing a long time, and whenit finally reaches us, you must be ready. Body, mind, maegic.” He pauses to expel a breath. “I am not Pendefyre. I’m not going to coddle you or keep you behind glass like some dainty fucking butterfly.You are a Remnant.It’s time someone reminded you of that. And since I’m the only one capable of it—or because the gods have a twisted sense of humor—that unfortunate task appears to be mine.”
I say nothing. I cannot. My words are caught in my throat, as conflicted as my emotions.
With another harsh exhale, Soren turns and walks away. I watch him go, my spine still pressed tight to the wall, each breath in my lungs sharp as shattered glass. When he reaches the archway that leads out onto the dark terrace, he pauses with his back to me. A towering silhouette, half painted in candlelight. His voice is barely a whisper, but I flinch as though he’s shouted.
“The next time you ask me to take you back to Caeldera, be certain you truly want to go. Because I will comply.” There is a brief pause. Even from this distance, I can see the tension rippling through his shoulders, the tight furl of his fists at his sides. “I cannot be the only one fighting for you to embrace your potential. Not anymore.”