He stills. “You?”
I give a tiny nod.
“Why the hell would I ever blame you?” His confusion is tempered with anger as his mind races, putting the pieces together before I have a chance to answer. “Ah. Becausehedid. For Fyremas.” Soren’s scoff is harsh. “He shoved the blame on your shoulders when his were too cowed by his own shame to bear it.”
My flinch is apparent, though I try to hide it.
How easily he sees through me. How clearly he reads between the lines of all I do not say, seeing the damage I’ve internalized before I can even recognize it myself.
Soren’s hands find my face, his large palms framing it. He tilts my chin up so I am looking directly into his eyes. They are very blue, even in the dark.
“I do not blame you, Rhya. And while there is a whole list of things I regret about this night…what happened with you willneverbe included on it. Not as long as I breathe.”
My eyes sting as the weight of those words rocks through me.
His forehead drops down to rest on mine. I think he might kiss me, but he does not. We remain like that for several long moments, simply sharing breaths, until he finally speaks again.
“Efnysien sent his minions to strike at the things he knows matter most to me. The floating market, which is the beating heart of my city. The Paexyri, who are the living embodiment of our oldest maegic. And my sister, my closest blood relation,whom he has always coveted for his own.” His fingers flex against my face, then slide deeply into the hair at my temples. “If there is one thing I am grateful for, it is that he does not know the depth of my feelings where you are concerned. For if he wanted to deal me a death blow…it is you he would have taken through that portal tonight. It is you he would have stolen away from me.”
“Soren—”
His lips close the gap, kissing away my surprised gasp. Kissing me and kissing me and kissing me until all the air is gone from my lungs, until I lose the strength to stand on my own and, knees weak, sink into him like the warmest of seas. He holds me tight against him, hands deep in my hair, tongue sliding between my parted lips to stroke mine. My arms twine around his back as I bow against him, losing myself in the sensations that are crashing through me like a tide.
The pound of a fist at the door tears us apart.
“Soren!” Vaughn pounds again. “The ships are ready!”
My eyes meet Soren’s in the dark. The silver striations are brighter than ever. His voice is raw with regret.
“Time to go.”
Chapter
twenty-seven
“What’s the holdup?” Vaughn barks at me. “Sun’s rising already. Get your ass on board or I’ll toss you up.”
I do not doubt he will.
Still, my feet remain rooted to the dock, eyes shifting back and forth between the two black-sailed ships as the first rays of dawn bathe the harbor in shades of palest pink. The rest of our party have already divided themselves neatly into groups, with Soren, Alaric, Vaughn, Yara, Harpina, and Bretiax moving to the first as Penn, Jac, Mabon, Cadogan, Farley, and Melité make for the second.
I alone hesitate, unsure which I’m meant to board.
“Rhya,” Penn calls, staring at me from where he’s stopped halfway up the gangplank. “Come.”
I take a step, then stop. My gaze flashes to the other vessel where Soren stands at the rail, arms crossed over his chest, focus intent on me. He says nothing—not with his mouth, in any case. His eyes are saying plenty.
Across the harbor, the sea gate is ratcheting open in slow degrees, every churn of the waterwheel stirring up more indecision inside me. But suddenly Jac is there, wrapping his uninjured arm around my shoulders and squeezing in reassurance.
“Don’t tell me you’re scared of a little sailing adventure, Ace. You’ll find your sea legs in no time.”
“I’m not scared. I thought maybe I’d go on the other—”
“Nonsense. They’ve got the big man dragging them down already,” he continues merrily. He seems no worse for wear despite the sling slanting across his chest. “Can’t afford any extra weight.”
“I heard that!” Vaughn bellows.
Chuckling, Jac steers me onto the gangplank, straight toward Penn. And my moment of uncertainty is lost.