“I told you, I don’t know yet. The ship—”
“I don’t mean tomorrow,” he clips. He still does not look at me, not even for a moment, keeping his spine ramrod as he stares out to sea. “What are you doing right now?”
“Sitting here with you.”
“I don’t need your pity.”
“Good, because you don’t have it.” My eyes bore holes into the side of his face, willing him to glance over. “You’re angry with me.”
His jaw tightens. “No.”
“And you’re lying about it.” My voice turns incredulous. “I thought you promised never to lie to me. I thought you claimed you would always be truthful.”
His expression twists into a bleak mask that, even in profile, makes me uneasy. When he finally shifts his focus to me, I almost reel back. The full force of that look is terrifying. A Soren I have never seen before. No levity, no mirth. No easy laughter. He shows me the deepest fathoms of his pain, his fury, his frustration, holding nothing back as his eyes pierce mine.
I am suddenly grateful the bond is muted. I do not think I could bear to feel those emotions firsthand.
“You want the truth?” he mutters, the words hoarse. “Truly?”
My heart thuds harder, faster. “Always.”
“The first night you arrived here, I told you I would always be honest with you, but you had not yet earned my secrets. Do you remember that?”
I nod.
“You have earned them now.”
My heart stumbles.I have?
“But the things I want to say to you, Rhya…These words I keep locked inside my heart…I fear if I allow them to the surface, you will run from me and never return. I fear the last glimpse I ever have of you will be on the bow of a brown-sailed ship, fading into the distance, forever out of my reach.”
Shivers of trepidation move through my bloodstream. I push past them, determined not to shy away. “You cannot know that. I have never run from you before, no matter what you told me, no matter how far you’ve pushed me. And you have pushed me greatly, these past few weeks. Mentally, elementally”—I swallow hard—“physically.”
His eyes flash, silver joining the sapphire in a way that suddenly reminds me of the gown I am wearing. As though he shares my thoughts, his gaze moves down my body, taking in the plunging cleavage, the exposed whorls of my Remnant…Moving past the flowing fabric that hugs my curves to the delicate silver sandals on my feet where they rest on the step beside his heavy black boots, periodically splashed by warm waves.
“Physically,” he repeats, the word nearly a growl.
I had meant it in regard to the water globes he is constantly battering me with, or the way he sometimes uses his broad frame to corral me down a path, or his propensity for grabbing my hand and tugging me along behind him. But as our gazes hold and hold, all those physical acts are pushed aside as the memory of that night at the Kettle threads its way into my thoughts.
My teeth score my bottom lip as I recall the way he drew pleasure from my body without ever once putting his hands on my skin. It is a memory I have replayed again and again, this past week, late at night when no one is around to see the flush of my cheeks or hear the rapid patter of my pulse.
Soren reads the direction of my thoughts instantly. His eyes go half-lidded as they drop to my mouth and lock there. “I thought you did not want to talk about that.”
“I don’t,” I breathe.
“Good. We’ve talked enough.”
“What—”
His hand slides behind my neck without warning, jerking me close in one smooth tug. Our foreheads bump together with a jolt that might’ve been painful if I could feel anything except shock. My lips are still half-parted on a word I can no longer remember. All I can think about is the hairsbreadth of space that separates my mouth from Soren’s.
I wait for him to close it, to crush his lips against mine.
He doesn’t.
When I manage to peel my attention from his mouth, I look directly into his eyes. They are pure silver, like starlight shining on the sea. Our breaths mingle in the space between our faces, both of us breathing like we’ve just run the length of the ramparts.
“Is there something you wanted from me, skylark?” he whispers, so close I feel each word form before it reaches my ears. “Another lesson? A bit of insight?”