“You worry about him.”
“I do, though there’s no need for it. He’s so skilled, so capable.” She sighs as she leads me to the narrow staircase at the back of the shop. “Gods, but I love that man. I can’t blame the prince for promoting him. He recognizes talent. Rewards it, too.”
I help her climb the stairs to the apartments, keeping one hand on her back for support. Through the fabric of her gown, I can feel the rapid flutter of her breathing. This short climb will soon be too strenuous for her to manage. By the time we reach the upper landing, she has to lean against the wall to catch her breath.
“Sorry,” she rasps, panting hard. “The stairs—”
“You shouldn’t be going up and down, Carys. It’s not goodfor you to exert yourself like this. You’d be better off resting in bed.”
She waves away my words, pushes off the wall, and waddles into the parlor room. Leaving her to recover on the sofa, I walk straight into the kitchen and put on the kettle, as has become our custom. I retrieve two mugs from the cupboard above the sink and spoon a lump of sugar into each one while the water boils. I do not use the tea leaves Carys typically favors, instead pulling out the tin of herbs from the parcel I brought along with me.
The stop I’d made at the apothecary down the block cost me all the coin I won wagering on my archery skills, plus the handful I found rattling around the bottom of Penn’s desk drawer. I figure he will not notice it missing. Even if he does, I have no qualms about my thievery. It is for a good cause. And if eight crowns are enough to break the royal bank, he has bigger problems to contend with.
Carys is still breathing heavily when I return to her, color high on her cheeks. Her face screws up in disgust when she takes a sip of tea.
“Och!That’s not chamomile!”
I sip my own steaming cup—plain peppermint—and smile. “No, it isn’t.”
“What is this dreadful concoction?”
“Goldenrod and gingerroot. It will help with the swelling in your feet.”
“It tastes like dirt.”
I shrug, unbothered. “No Farley today?”
“The rain must have kept him at the barracks. I’m surprised you made the trek down from the palace. It’s pouring buckets out there.”
I squish my toes inside my sodden boots. “I don’t mind the rain. It matches my mood of late.”
She takes another sip of her tea and grimaces. “Mmm. Andwould this unhappy attitude have anything to do with the continued absence of a certain man with a penchant for fire?”
“No.” I grit my teeth. “It’s not about Penn. It’s my utter lack of purpose here.”
“Perhaps purposelessness can be your purpose.”
“Clever.”
“Have you been back to the cavern behind the falls?”
I press my lips closed, knowing my answer will displease her. The past few mornings when I set off to walk to her shop, my feet have turned me in a different direction—leading me not across the bridge, away from the keep, but behind it, into the thick mist of the thundering falls. Up a flight of slick stone steps. Into an ancient cavern with glyph-gouged walls.
When I’d been there with Penn, the glyphs were aglow, red as the tips of a blacksmith’s tongs left too long in the forge. Now they are quiet and still, the same gray-black shade of petrified ash that characterizes the rest of Caeldera’s foundations. And yet, as I lift my hand to trace the indecipherable patterns, I feel a deep thrum of maegic beneath the tip of my finger.
I spend hours meditating in the cavern, seeking out the inner point of stillness inside my head as the water cascades all around me. It is growing easier to locate the eye of the hurricane; to immerse myself in the calm waters at the center of the cyclone. But even as I bob there undisturbed, I never lose awareness of the danger surrounding me, not so far in the distance. Pressing in with the dark promise of infinite power—and unimaginable pain.
Penn wants me to learn to tame that storm. To draw it close and somehow hold it, like a breath pulled deep into one’s lungs but never released. It seems impossible to contemplate, let alone achieve. Regardless, I have to try. After hearing his story of Enid, the stakes are too high not to attempt.
I will learn to keep the gate shut, I tell myself over and over,jaw clenched with determination.I will learn to contain this brewing storm inside.
There is no other choice.
Carys frowns at me, gleaning the truth from the stretching silence. “I don’t think going there on your own is a good idea, Rhya.”
“You’ve made your thoughts on the matter quite clear, Carys.”
“After what happened the last time, I can’t believe you’re even thinking about testing your powers again. What if you slip up? What if you get hurt?”