“It’s nine-thirty in the morning,” Flo murmured.
Zelda merely stared at her and took a defiant sip of her mug. I was guessing its contents weren’t tea. Her eyes slid to mine, their murky blue unsettling as always. “What is it you’re seeking here, Gwendolyn?”
“I wanted to see if you were all right. It’s unlike you to miss appointments, especially during the high season.”
“Death inverted,”the parrot interjected. “Purge the past, purge the past.”
“Spiritual beings cannot be beholden to the whims of what you deem appropriate business hours. Time is but a construct.” Zelda gestured vaguely in the air. “I must go where the energy calls most strongly.”
“It calls youhere?” Flo asked doubtfully, eyeing the parrot. A dollop of greenish brown poop plopped to the floor, landing atop a large pile of dried droppings that had accumulated on the rug over what must’ve been months. Maybe even years.
I guess that explained the smell.
“Zelda,” I persevered. “This man who is looking for you — Mickey O’Banion. He claims you stole some of his mother’s jewelry.”
“What use would I have with jewelry?” She fluttered her unadorned fingers. “Material wealth means nothing to the truly enlightened, for you cannot carry it with you to the other side.”
“Right… It’s just… he seems pretty dang convinced that you stole half a million dollars worth of his mother’s belongings and are planning to pawn them on the black market.”
“Blind the third eye,” Hecate added. “She sees! She sees!”
Madame Zelda stared at me blankly, totally unruffled by my accusation. Eventually, she took another long sip of her… tea… and sighed. “And you believe him?”
“It’s not about what I believe or don’t believe. But the O’Banion family is not known for their friendliness, especially when they think someone has ripped them off. This Mickey guy…” I glanced briefly at Flo. “He’s hired Gravewatch — one of the top private investigation agencies in the state — to track you down. It’s only a matter of time before they find you here. Actually, if you ask me, it’s sort of a miracle they haven’t tracked you down yet. When they do, they’re going to hand you over to Mickey. And I get the feeling he’s more a fan ofan eye for an eyethanforgive and forgetwhen it comes to meting out justice.”
“The O’Banions are no threat to me.”
“But Zelda—”
“You have a good heart, Gwendolyn. I appreciate you coming all the way here over something so trivial. Your concern is noted but, I assure you, ultimately unnecessary. I have no knowledge of this missing jewelry.” She paused a beat. “Even if I did, I surely wouldn’t be foolish enough to keep it here at my apartment, in plain sight of anyone who strolls through my front door.”
Flo and I traded another loaded glance. Her eyes were bugging out of her head in her patentedoh-my-god-this-bitch-is-locolook. I wasn’t sure how I’d expected this visit to go, though I figured Zelda might show a flicker of concern about her own wellbeing, if not mine.
“Just to make sure I understand this correctly… you don’t know Mrs. O'Banion?” I asked, disbelief thick in my voice.
Zelda shrugged lightly. “I didn’t say that.”
“You do know her, then.”
“We have had a longstanding arrangement, stretching back several years. Twice a month, I visit her home and give a private reading as she is elderly and unable to come to me. It pains me to know I’m being accused of wrongdoing after I’ve been so accommodating of her limitations.”
Flo scoffed. “Right. I’m sure you make private house calls out of the goodness of your heart. Nothing at all to do with the whopping fees you can extort from a little old lady who’s just addled enough to write you a blank check. ”
“And why shouldn’t I collect a profit for my services?” Zelda asked, sounding a bit miffed.
“I don’t know,” Flo murmured, then added in a low whisper. “Maybe because your services are bullshit?”
I shot my best friend a sharp glance, telling her to quit while she was ahead. Insulting Zelda wouldn’t get us anywhere.
The psychic’s smile turned sharp — she hadn’t missed Flo’s whisper. “Believe what you will about the validity of my readings. I give the O'Banion matriarch a few hours of simple companionship and spiritual consultation in exchange for compensation.” She paused. “It’s odd. You say her son claims she’s senile?”
I nodded.
“She speaks to me quite clearly whenever we discuss her future. In fact, at our most recent visit, she was rather candid concerning her wishes to alter her last will and testament before she passes. She holds a significant fortune from her father. Not to mention, all the family properties are in her name — including that dirty hole-in-the-wall bar they hold so dear. Her boys have been battling over who will inherit it for years.” Zelda’s pause was rich with implication. “It makes you wonder what the true motives are behind these false accusations of thievery.”
“You think Mickey is trying to frame you?” I asked, incredulous. “That he stole the jewelry himself, and is… what? Throwing his brothers off the scent?”
“The hanged man sees true,” Hecate cried, beak clicking. “Too late to go back!”