“Still here, babe,” he whispered against my lips, sounding amused.
“Take me home?”
He kissed me again. “Okay, Gwen. Let’s go home.”
* * *
It wasthe dead of night when my eyes peeled open. Moonlight was streaming through my window, a shaft of it perfectly illuminating Graham’s face in the dark. His eyes were open and they were fixed on me. He looked like he’d been awake a while — which was understandable, given the events of the past week, but still made my brows lift.
“Are you watching me sleep?” I asked, my voice edged with exhaustion.
“Yeah.”
“That’s a little weird, Graham.”
“Not weird at all, in my opinion.” His hand slid down my naked side and settled at my hip. “Spent a long time thinking I’d never get to lie here in the dark, you in my arms, breathing deep, feeling safe enough to close those gorgeous eyes of yours. Didn’t particularly like the thought of a life of separate bedrooms, but I would’ve dealt with it if that’s what it took to be with you.”
My breath hitched.
“Thankfully, you pushed through your fears,” he continued. “And, baby, being brave enough to do that? That’s agift. One I’m not going to squander. One I’m going to enjoy whenever the fuck I want. That means, yeah, sometimes I’m watching you sleep. You get me?”
My throat was lodged with a lump the size of Texas. Somehow, I managed to mutter, “I get you, Graham.”
“Good.” His lips found mine, a featherlight brush in the dark. His fingertips dug into my skin as his grip on my hip tightened. “Something else, Gwen.”
“What is it, baby?”
“I love you.”
I sucked in a breath as my whole world careened to a sudden halt at those three little words. The globe tilted on its axis, the stratosphere spun madly out of sync. “What?”
“Know you heard me, but I’ll tell you again anyway. I love you, Gwendolyn. I always loved you. Even when you drove me fucking crazy with your bullshit, pushing me away for two goddamn years when we could’ve been together.”
“Um. Excuse me? Mybullshit? Are you sure you love me? You can’t even say it without insulting me at the same time!”
He ignored this snippy retort. “Never been more sure of anything. I want this. You and me, together. Fighting, fucking, laughing, I don’t care what we do so long as we do it side by side. I want to build a whole life with you.”
“A whole life,” I repeated, feeling like I’d been punched in the gut. My pulse kicked up a notch, beginning to pound — an equal mix of joy and panic thrumming through me. When I managed to speak, I could only do it in a whisper. “Together.”
“Yeah. You got a problem with that plan?”
“Um…”
“Gwen—” he started, frustration mounting.
“I’ve never lived like you live,” I blurted out. “I might not be any good at it.”
“I don’t give a fuck if you’re good at it,” he replied instantly. “So long as you start living.”
“I live.”
“Baby, you exist. You make it from Point A to Point B.” His lips brushed mine again, soothing the defensive hurt that had sprung up inside me as he spoke. “I want you to startliving. Putting down roots. Not flipping every light switch when you walk out of the room to save on electric, not keeping your thermostat at subzero to avoid utility bills. Not filling your pantry with canned goods and condiment packets as a survival mechanism in case the money runs out.”
I flinched in his arms. I couldn’t help it — I hadn’t even realized he’d noticed my tendency to hoard mini sauce and ketchup packets. (I should have. He was Graham, he noticedeverything.)
Growing up poor, I’d learned the hard way that starvation was never more than a few meals away. To this day, I could spend hours in the grocery store, running my hands over all the things I’d been deprived of as a kid, filling up my cart with canned goods and frozen pizzas and other non-perishable items that would ensure I’d never go to bed famished, not ever again.
I hardly ever cooked, but my pantry was well-stocked. I had a whole drawer full of ketchup, mustard, and relish, along with myriad soy, duck, and hot sauces, stashed away each time I ordered takeout, just in case I ever fell back on tough times. Hunger was the best condiment in my experience… but Ireallyhated plain french fries.