I laugh awkwardly. “The thing about Ollie is…”
“What?”
“He wants to wait until he’s married to have sex.”
The twins gape at me.
“You must be kidding.”
“Josephine, please tell us you are kidding.”
I lift my hands in surrender. “Serious as a heart attack.”
“Wow. No sex until marriage,” Odette murmurs, like the thought is incomprehensible.
“Not evenoral?” Ophelia asks, genuinely mystified.
I drop my head into my hands and groan. “Guys.”
“Fee, you’re embarrassing her!”
“I’m legitimately curious, though!” She looks at me pointedly. “Does he knowyou’renot waiting? Or is he under the impression you’ll be trading v-cards on your wedding night?”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” I hold up my hands. “Who said anything about getting married?”
The twins glance at each other. “He’s what, like, twenty-three?”
“Twenty-four.”
“Mmm. And you’ve been dating how long?”
“Eight months.”
“Mmmm. And he’s close with your parents?”
“I mean… He works at their company, so, yeah.”
“Mmmmm.”
“Stopmmmmm-ing!” I protest.
Ophelia waves away my words with a flick of her wrist. “I’m just saying… It smells like marriage to me.”
“It smells like nothing of the sort!”
Odette’s eyes narrow in thought. “You didn’t answer my question though. Does he know Archer already rounded your bases? Slid into your home-plate, so to speak?”
I squirm a bit on the loveseat. “He doesn’t know a thing about Archer. I didn’t see any good reason to share that particular story with him.”
“So, he doesn’t know.” Ophelia whistles. “That’s probably for the best. Men tend to place a lot of significance on our maidenly deflowering.”
“Seriously.” Odette rolls her eyes. “You’d think breaking a freaking hymen is some kind of natural testosterone booster, the way they go on and on about it.”
“Sis, haven’t you heard?” Ophelia waves her arms through the air like a witch casting a spell. “The virginal hoo-ha has magical powers to enhance virility — like powdered rhinoceros horn and shark fin soup!”
The twins both throw their heads back in a fit of laughter.
“Ollie isn’t like that,” I insist, trying not to sound defensive. “Even if I did tell him, he wouldn’t care.” I swallow hard, wishing it would clear the lump of uncertainty lodged in my throat. “This is really not that big of a deal.”