“God, you’ve turned into such a prick!” She’s practically shaking with rage. “Of all the people who could’ve pulled me from the water… This has to be some kind of sick cosmic joke.”
“Don’t worry. I’m sure the Coast Guard will be here any minute now, and you can go back to hating me from a distance.”
“Not a nanosecond too soon,” she snaps. She’s glaring at me with such disdain, it’s actually palpable in the musty air of the enclosed earthen space. “I can’t believe I was ever stupid enough to consider you my best friend. To think you actually cared about me. That you might ever lo—” She bites off the words, forcing them back down her throat with a harsh swallow. “What a waste, you are. Waste of energy, waste of breath, waste of time.”
I know.
I know I am.
And you deserve so much better than me.
“Well, then. Good talk,” I drawl sarcastically. I force my features into a condescending smirk. It feels like a lie on my lips. “Glad we had a chance to catch up after all this time, old friend.”
“Screw off, Archer.”
She stalks to the mouth of the shelter, as far from me as she can possibly get without standing in the rain. Blowing out a long breath, I stare up at the ceiling.
It’s going to be a long wait for rescue.
THIRTEEN
josephine
I’m vibrating— with rage, yes, but also with cold. It’s freezing in this dank little cave. And Archer’s icy disposition isn’t helping matters.
An hour of frozen silence passes, the only sound that of the pouring rain against the crumbling casino ruins and the occasional rumble of thunder. I stand for as long as I can at the outermost edge of the overhang, staring into the distance, straining my ears in vain for the sound of helicopter blades or boat engines, a portent of rescue.
Eventually, exhaustion overtakes me. I peel the wet poncho over my head, spread it across the mossy ground, and sit down, legs pulled close to my chest to stop my shivers. I’m utterly worn out. Every part of my body aches like I’ve been thrown down a flight of stairs. It’s not just physical, either — I am emotionally drained, a bone-deep sort of tired no amount of rest will cure.
A part of me knew if I ever saw Archer again, it would be difficult. But this is far more painful than I imagined it to be on the rare instances I’d actually allow my overactive mind to envision our paths crossing again. Maybe because, in my fictitious scenarios, we were always older. More time had passed. I’d be walking down the aisle of a grocery store in twenty years, reaching for an avocado, and there he’d be. Salt-and-pepper hair, a knowing smile. We’d nod politely and go our separate ways without a dramatic confrontation, no longer seeking closure or consideration. No mending of fences or water under bridges necessary, after so much time.
That, I could’ve lived with.
That, I could’ve swallowed without too much wounded pride.
That, I could’ve walked away from feeling, if not happy for him, at least at peace with the way it all played out.
But notthis.
Anything but this.
This is…
Unimaginable.
One year was far too short. Too short for me to heal properly, and too short for him to have changed this much. He’s radically different — grown so cold, so indifferent toward me, it’s difficult to fathom we were ever inseparable. It’s almost impossible to reconcile this brooding, bearded stranger with the boy in my memories, who I adored with an all-consuming sort of madness.
I curl my arms tighter around my body, wishing I would wake up from this nightmare. Somewhere out of view, I hear Archer pouring water from his boots, shrugging out of his wet coveralls. I fight the urge to cover my ears with my palms like a child, blocking out every sound he makes. Even if I did, there’s no expunging thoughts of him from my head. My mind spins in dizzying circles, a torturous loop from which there is no reprieve. I’m so frustrated, I could pull my hair out at the roots.
Fall in love with your best friend. That’s what everyone always says — in movies, books, television shows, you name it.Fall in love with your best friend and you’ll spend your whole life laughing. Fall in love with your best friend, and you’ll never be alone.But no one tells you what to do if you fall in love with your best friend... and he doesn’t love you back. No one warns you how damn painful it’ll be to find the person you know, down to your bones, is meant for you… And he doesn’t feel the same.
A realization like that can throw your whole world off its axis. It can make you question everything — about your concept of reality, about the choices you’ve made. About what makes youyou.
Fundamentally.
Viscerally.
Inherently.