“Yes.” I swallow the lump in my throat. “And for a long time, I was in denial about it. I didn’t want to face the fact that I…”
“Love him,” she finishes softly, marveling a little. “You love him. I don’t know how I didn’t see it before.”
“I wasn’t exactly advertising it.”
She’s silent for a long while. “This probably won’t help, today of all days, but… He loves you too, you know.”
My eyes press closed. “Please.Don’t.”
“Don’t what?”
“Don’t say that.”
“Why?”
“It just makes it harder.”
She sighs. “E… Look, I know I’m not exactly a relationship expert, but are you sure you’ve thought this through? Are you absolutely certain there’s no way the two of you can figure out a way for you to be together—”
“No.” I cut her off savagely. “We can’t.”
“Why? Because of what people might say? Because of media backlash? I thought you didn’t care what anyone thought of you.”
“It’s not about that.”
“Then what? I’ll admit, the whole stepbrother thing is a bit of a hiccup. And I suppose there’s the small fact that Carter technically has no lands or titles to offer in a strategic alliance with the crown. And, sure, all those stuffy, traditionalist aristocrats would probably call for your head in a basket…” She shrugs. “Not to be blunt, but it’s not like they have all that many other options lying around. You’reit, E. There’s no spare queen they can swap in if you screw up. That’s, like, the one benefit of being the last Lancaster, right?”
“About that…” I quickly fill her in on everything I overheard Ava saying at the auction last night — the Sterling family’s plan to seize my throne by inserting some spineless, far-removed Lancaster relation. As I speak, her eyes get wider and wider until they’re saucer-round with horror.
“Jesus. I shouldn’t be surprised. I mean, this is Ava we’re talking about. Of course she has some nefarious plan to usurp you. But… damn. A coup? That’s coldblooded, even for her.”
“If I screw up badly enough, if I’m forced to step down as queen… the Sterlings will insert a puppet on the throne. The whole kingdom will be under their control.” I shake my head slowly back and forth as I remember the hatred burning in Lord Sterling’s eyes when they clashed with mine in the House of Lords. “That family cannot ever be allowed to steer my kingdom.”
“Your kingdom,” Chloe murmurs, smiling softly. “Spoken like a true queen.”
“I didn’t mean—”
“Don’t you dare apologize for finally embracing your destiny. For finally claiming what’s yours.”
I suck in a breath, startled by the ferocity of her words as much as the feeling they stir to life inside my heart. The truth is, I’m not sure when this role became so important to me. I can’t pinpoint the moment this crown on my head stopped feeling so much like a burden and started to feel like… something I might actually be good at. Something I might actuallyenjoy.
But I do.
Impossible as it may seem… I enjoy being a leader. I enjoy standing up for those whose voices have been drowned out by the status quo of an outdated aristocracy for far too long. I enjoy seeing the look in people’s eyes when they realize they have gravely underestimated me. That I am no mere figurehead to be pushed aside; no little girl to be sidelined.
My heart is suddenly racing. “I never had the Lancaster name. I wasn’t raised to embrace this legacy. Six months ago, I was a normal girl who wanted nothing to do with this life. With this future. It seemed like a pair of gold shackles around my wrists, holding me back from everything I wanted to accomplish. But now… everything’s different. I’m not sure why.”
“Because you’ve seen how much change you can effect as the queen. You’ve touched lives. You’ve altered the course of history in such a short amount of time. Imagine what you could do with a full reign. With forty or fifty years on that throne.”
“Altered history? That seems like a bit of an exaggeration…”
“It’s not, though.” Her head shakes. “What you did at Parliament yesterday? Calling for a referendum? Championing equal representation for women? That’s big. It’s huge. It’s freakinghistoric.”
“It wasn’t even planned. I didn’t think about it in advance. I just… I was so pissed off, I said what popped into my head. No filter.”
“Because you have good instincts. You lead with your heart. And you aren’t afraid to stand up to bullies who have hoarded all the power in this country for far, far too long.” She snorts. “Why do you think they’re all so intent on getting you out of this castle? They’re terrified you’re going to bring Germania out of the dark ages, shedding much-needed light on their corrupt little regime.”
My lips twist. “You should’ve seen their faces, Chloe. I wish you’d been there.”