“Of course not.”
“Why?”
“I need to be here at the castle, monitoring things.”
“Twenty-four-seven? You can’t take thirty minutes off to flirt over coffee?”
“No.”
“Oh, okay. I see. It’s fine foryouto cloister yourself away, but whenIdo it I’m ‘a shut-in with depression.’” I roll my eyes. “Seems like a double standard to me, Galizia.”
She regards me for a moment in silence before murmuring succinctly, “You’re so full of shit.”
“Are you allowed to say that to your Queen?”
“I don’t know. Probably not. But someone has to say it, and right now…” A flare of something that might be sympathy streaks across her face. “I’m all you’ve got.”
A lump forms abruptly at the back of my throat. She’s right. I don’t have anyone, anymore. Not anyone I can count as a friend, anyway. I am constantly surrounded by staff and yet I am more alone than I’ve ever been in my life.
“Maybe you should call your sister.”
I stiffen at the soft suggestion. “I can’t call Chloe.”
“Why?”
“I just can’t, okay?”
Not after the things I said to her. Not after I accused her of being worse than her scheming mother, Octavia. Not after I had her thrown out of the palace without so much as a word.
Regret simmers in my veins, tangling with shame and guilt and sorrow. I am a jumbled mess of emotions, incased in a fragile sheet of ice. One crack in my numb composure, it’ll all come flooding out.
“Your Majesty.” Galizia’s expression has smoothed back into its normal mask of professionalism. “Please, just go back to your chambers.”
“Why? It’s not like I’ll be able to sleep.”
I swallow hard and stare down at my bare feet. They look small and pale against the ornate floor. I’m not trying to be difficult, it’s just… being in my room for any prolonged period makes me strangely claustrophobic. As though the walls are liable to cave in around me at any given moment.
Of course, if I wanted, I could have any other suite in the castle. With a snap of my fingers, the servants would move my things anywhere I requested. Technically, I should be living in the South Wing, where Germania’s kings and queens have always resided during their terms. But I cannot bring myself to move into my father’s rooms. I cannot bring myself to even step inside them.
“Who said anything about sleep?” Galizia’s strange question draws my gaze once more. There’s a wry twist to her lips that makes my brows go up. “You have a visitor.”
My eyes widen. “It’s past midnight.”
She just stares at me, unblinking.
“You really let someone in to see me at this hour?”
“I’m the one who called him.”
“Galizia!” I scowl. “You know I don’t want to see anyone.”
She shrugs, offering neither explanation nor apology.
“At least tell me who it is.”
“You’ll see when you go back to your suite,” she says diplomatically.
“Seriously? I’m the queen. I can throw you in the dungeons for disobeying orders.” I pause. “I think.”