Carter shakes his head. “Chloe has always been a user of convenience. Last time it got this bad, she was taking benzos mixed with a whole bunch of other shit. Coke, ecstasy, whatever’s floating around the clubs when she’s out for the night. As long as it keeps her high, keeps her numb… she doesn’t care about the name written on the bottle. And she doesn’t have a shut-off valve. Not when she’s in this headspace. She doesn’t stop until she’s unconscious on the floor.”
“Christ,” I curse quietly, mind spinning in several directions at once.
Carter blows out a sharp breath. “I didn’t want to come to you with this. I know it’s not your problem. I know you wanted us out of your life… but I’m at a loss, here. I can’t reach her. I think you might be the only one who can.”
“Me?”
He nods tightly.
“I don’t know that I’m necessarily the right person…”
“You are theonlyfucking person, Emilia!”
I startle at his sudden vehemence.
He pulls in a breath to calm himself. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to yell. I just think if she sees you, maybe… Maybe you can talk some sense into her. Get her to hit the brakes before she goes completely over the edge.” Carter rubs a hand over his face, shielding his eyes from mine. He’s quiet for a long moment. When he speaks, his voice is stark. “She’s the only family I have. I can’t lose her, Emilia. Iwon’tlose her.”
The vulnerability of those words tears through me. Without thinking, I reach out and put my hand on his knee. It’s merely meant to comfort him — a quick squeeze to let him know he’s not alone. Something I like to think I’d do for anyone falling apart in front of my eyes.
But Carter isn’t justanyone.
He goes totally still as soon as my hand makes impact. I feel the anger coiling in his body even before I hear it in his snarl.
“I don’t need your pity.”
I snatch my hand back like I’ve been struck. The few words I manage to force from my lips come out in a nervous jumble.
“It wasn’t— I don’t— I just—”
His hand falls away from his face, revealing a mask of callous anger beneath. The coldness in his eyes makes my breath catch. “Don’t bother explaining. You’ve made how you feel about me perfectly clear,Your Royal Majesty— you did that when you threw me out of the castle three months ago without bothering to listen to a fucking word I had to say in my own defense.”
A muscle jumps in his jaw and I see, quite clearly, that beneath his worry and his exhaustion, there’s a deep pit of fury. Fury atme, for bringing us to the brink of emotional warfare.
“Carter—”
“Don’t. Don’t. Let’s just get Chloe back. That’s all I care about. That’s the only thing that matters, now.” He glances away from me, staring resolutely out the window. “After that, I’ll walk out of your life without a fight. You’ll never have to see me again, just like you wanted. That’s a promise.”
“I…” My mouth clamps shut, silencing the words I wish I could say; the words I would say, if I thought they would change anything.
That’s not what I want.
That’s the opposite of what I want.
I miss you.
I’m sorry.
I fucked up.
Please forgive me.
But I’m not naive enough to believe saying those words would actually change a damn thing between us. No apology can mend this rift. No paltry words can heal this breach of trust.
This man, sitting across from me, might as well be a stranger for all the familiarity in his expression. He might as well be my worst enemy for all the warmth in his rigid profile.
Just like you wanted, Emilia.
Remember?