He would never hurt me.
I wish I could somehow erase the seeds of doubt now sewn into those words.
* * *
By the timethe engagement party ends, I’m thoroughly worn out. Hours of fake smiling and forced greetings have depleted my social reserves to the dregs. I bid Alden goodbye, allowing him to plant a lingering kiss on my cheek and promising to see him tomorrow.
More photo-ops.
More publicity tours.
More posing as the perfect couple.
My footsteps ring out in the abandoned castle hallways as I make my way from the throne room to my chambers. It’s bizarre to think they won’t be mine for much longer.
With the wedding rapidly approaching, we’ve officially broken ground on the new East Wing — a replacement for the one that burned down in last fall’s fatal fire. Construction will take several months to complete… but it should be done by the time Alden and I exchange vows.
A new wing for a new king and queen.
It’s difficult for me to imagine sharing a bed with Alden. Kissing him. Touching him in a way that extends beyond occasional hand-holding or brotherly forehead kisses.
I try not to let my mind wander to inevitable truths — that we will, eventually, need to produce an heir. That, in the absence of immaculate conception, we will be doing more than sleeping side by side in our marriage bed.
My eyes pressed closed, shutting out the thoughts.
Why does even the prospect of sleeping with another man feel like the ultimate betrayal?
I climb into bed, trying not to think about Carter but failing miserably.
He’s back in Switzerland by now. Living his life. I wonder if news of the engagement has reached him yet. If he is tossing and turning beneath his own sheets, consumed by the same rage and sadness simmering in my veins.
A soft knock at my door has my eyes springing open.
“It’s Chloe.”
“Come in,” I call, sitting up against my pillows.
A second later, a warm body lands on the bed beside me, snuggling beneath the covers.
“Hi,” she murmurs.
“Hi.”
“Figured you might want to talk. We didn’t get the chance to debrief, earlier, with all those people here. How are you feeling?”
I sigh. “It was a long day. I’m exhausted.”
“I meant emotionally.”
“So did I.”
Her head hits my shoulder. “It’s going to be okay, E. I promise.”
“You don’t think I made a colossal mistake?”
“I don’t.” She pauses. “I think, as usual, you are putting your country’s needs before your own. That’s honorable. It’s brave.”
“I just hope it’s enough to keep Ludwig off the throne.”