He blinks at me, his double chin quivering with each short breath. “It’s just…”
I sigh impatiently. “What is it, Simms? Guests will be arriving shortly for the engagement announcement. I need to go greet them with Alden in the Great Hall.”
“I know, My Queen. My sincerest apologies. It’s only…”
“Simms. Spit it out, already.”
“Are you quite certain you want to go through with this? With the announcement? And… with the engagement?”
I press my eyes closed. I can’t believe what I’m hearing — from Simms, of all people.
“A little late for cold feet, isn’t it?” I ask wryly, waving my left hand at him. The massive sapphire engagement ring sitting on my fourth finger glitters in the early morning light. It’s quite heavy — its physical heft a perfect match for the weight I feel inside my heart whenever I allow myself to dwell on the upcoming wedding.
“Perhaps it isn’t my place to say anything, but I feel it is my duty as your advisor to let you know it’s not too late to change your mind about this match, Your Majesty.”
“Change my mind?” A scoff of utter disbelief pops from my mouth. “Aren’t you the one who’s been pushing me into this for the past few weeks?”
“Well, yes—”
“Aren’t you the one who briefs me daily on the delightful Ludwig von Strauss and his ever-growing band of supporters? You know, the ones calling for me to abdicate my throne — quite loudly, I might add?”
“Yes, I suppose I have done so, but—”
“And aren’t you the one who has repeatedly assured me that, despite my canonized status amongst the common people asEmilia the Liberator,there are still plenty of members of the nobility plotting against me at this very moment? None so much as my former stepmother and prospective in-laws?”
Simms clasps his hands together. “Your Majesty, I do realize I have been the foremost champion of this union. But, over the past few weeks, I would be remiss if I said I have not noticed a marked change in your demeanor…” His eyes avoid mine, examining the tabletop with determination. “You have been withdrawn. Quiet. Pale. Quite unlike your normal self. Lady Morrell has remarked on it, as has your sister. Even your guards have expressed concern.”
“What is it you want from me?” I ask tiredly. “Should I be skipping down the halls, whistling a merry tune? Perhaps doing cartwheels? Jumping for joy at the prospect of a loveless marriage to a man whose entire family loathes me?”
“No, that’s not—”
“Should I do what the nobility so clearly wants? Abdicate my crown? Allow Octavia Thorne to run the throne by proxy?” A sarcastic edge stains my words. “Surely, that will lead Germania to time of peace, prosperity, and equality.”
“No, Your Majesty, that’s not what anyone wants. You are our true sovereign. To remove you from the throne would be to remove the beating heart from our country.”
“Then why question the engagement? Why sabotage our well-planned political strategy at the last moment?”
Simms swallows nervously, looking a bit flushed. “I apologize if I have overstepped. I merely thought someone should say something or… Or give you the opportunity, at the very least, to change your mind.”
“I’m not sure whether that’s condescending or comforting, but I appreciate the sentiment, Simms.”
“Your Majesty… I do support your marriage to Alden Sterling. I believe it is the right move for you — politically, fiscally, and socially. I did not intend to cast doubt on this alliance; merely to shed light on its finality.”
“For once in your life, just speak plainly, Simms.”
“Very well.” His worried gaze finds mine. “Once this press release goes out, there will be no taking it back. There can be no breaking a royal engagement. To do so would destroy your public image. So… you must be certain, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that this is what you want.”
I stare at him for a long beat. Weighing his words. Allowing their mass to solidify and settle inside my heart, adding to the burden that’s been building there for the past two weeks, since the day the referendum passed. Since the day Ludwig crept from the shadows and started his campaign against me, with Octavia pulling his puppet strings from behind the scenes. Since the day I left Hightower — and my dreams for a different future with a different man — behind.
For good.
You must be certain.
Beyond a shadow of a doubt.
This is what you want.
“Simms.”