Chapter Twenty
We take a proper shower,afterward. Carter soaps my sore muscles with meticulous care, not saying much of anything. But I feel his eyes on me constantly. Roaming over my skin, tracing the angles of my face. Even after we dry each other off and climb back into bed, I feel him watching me.
“What is it?” I ask, wrinkling my nose at him.
He leans in and kisses it. “Nothing.”
“I don’t believe you.”
He shrugs.
I sigh and close my eyes, still half splayed across his chest. “Fine. Don’t tell me. I’ll just be forced to torture it out of you later.” I pause to yawn. “After I sleep for approximately a thousand years.”
“And what, exactly, will this torture entail?”
“Ha. Like I’m going to reveal my best interrogation tactics to you. Nice try.”
He lets out a sleepy grunt.
We’re quiet for a long moment. I’m nearly asleep when he murmurs something in a soft voice that bears no resemblance to his typical brooding sarcasm.
“I’m exhausted. I don’t think I’ve ever been this tired in my life. But I’m worried I’ll fall asleep and wake up to realize this was all a dream.” He clears his throat. “That this one night is all I’ll ever have with you. One stolen moment together out of an infinity apart.”
I lift my head to look at him. “Then let’s make our own infinity. Let’s find our own path, like you said we would. We can walk together through the chaos, Carter.”
His eyes go soft. He keeps his tone gentle, but the words slay me anyway. “And how are we going to do that? These lives we lead… We’ll always be in the public eye. Always under scrutiny. Especially you.” He pauses. “A queen doesn’t have the luxury of choosing her own fate, Emilia.”
“Why do we have to talk about this now?” I ask, feeling unpleasant realities begin to take hold of me, bursting the bubble of denial I’ve been living in for the past few hours in his arms. I’m not ready to think about the real world yet. Everything that exists outside that door can wait until the morning, as far as I’m concerned.
“I won’t be queen for a very long time,” I murmur. “We don’t have to have it all figured out just yet. As long as we’re alive, and we’re together… those are the only things that really matter. Right?”
Carter’s eyes are troubled. His mouth opens, then closes again without a word.
“What?” I ask.
“Nothing.” He leans in and kisses me. Hard. Like he’s committing me to memory. “Let’s just go to sleep now, love.”
Confused, but too tired to argue, I curl up against his chest again and close my eyes. I’m asleep within seconds. So fast, I miss the words murmured into my hair in a rasping voice, thick with the sadness of an impending farewell.
“For what it’s worth… I would’ve given you all my infinities, Emilia. Every damn one.”
I wake up alone.
There’s a note on my pillow that makes me smile.
Snuck back to my suite before the maids began to gossip about your highly questionable virtue.
See you later.
C
Kissing the note,I tuck it inside my nightstand for safekeeping and sit up. I have no idea what time it is. Since the truck attack, my world has been turned completely upside down.
It’s time to right it.
Time to get some answers about why this happened, who’s responsible, and how they’re going to be brought to justice.
I dress quickly and hobble out of my rooms. I consider knocking on Carter’s door, but there are two guards standing at the end of the hallway, watching my every move with intent focus. As though some rogue agent of terror is going to run up and attack me here, inside the castle walls.