“Wait!” I call breathlessly, nearly slipping on the slick stone path as I careen around a prickly shrub. “Wait, Carter I was just messing with—oomph!”
I careen into his chest hard enough to knock the wind from my lungs. He grunts in pain, rocking backward to absorb the impact. His hands automatically close on my biceps, steadying me against him. My hands find his sides, clinging for purchase on the damp fabric of his shirt.
“Christ!” he curses.
“I’m sorry!” I gasp. “Really, I didn’t mean to—”
“For such a tiny person, you cause a remarkable amount of fallout.”
The apologetic words poised on my tongue never make it out. Instead, a burst of uncontrollable laughter bubbles up from my stomach and explodes out my mouth. Carter blinks down at me, his dark brows pulling together with concern. For some reason, that only makes me laugh harder.
Deep down, I know nothing about this day is even remotely amusing. But right now, I feel delirious enough not to give a damn that I look like a crazy person, cackling in the rain.
In my stepbrother’s arms.
The ridiculous thought inspires a fresh fit of giggles. I try to stop, but I can’t. Tears of mirth —or are they real tears, after all?— mix with the rain on my face. Carter’s fingers flex against the flesh of my arms, but I barely feel it. I’m floating outside my body, lighter than air, lighter than wind, lighter than the weight of crushing responsibility on my shoulders. So light, I’d float away if he were to let me go — up, up, up to the stars where there are no words likebirthrightordestinyorsuccessionto push me down.
“Hey!Hey.” He gives me a light shake. “Emilia.”
It’s the first time he’s ever used my name and it moves through me like a bolt of electricity. My laugher evaporates as suddenly as it appeared, leaving behind a hollow ache that would scare me, if I could feel anything at all.
“Emilia?”
“I’m okay,” I whisper in a voice I hardly recognize as my own. “I’ll be okay.”
“God, your skin is like ice.” He rubs my arms. “We need to get you inside.”
“I don’t want to go back, yet.”
“Too fucking bad. This isn’t up for discussion.”
“Please.” My voice splinters on the word. “Don’t make me go back in there. Please, Carter…”
He sucks in a sharp breath. His eyes blaze in the darkness, thoughts I’m afraid to decipher swimming in their depths. And I know it’s wrong… but right now, I’m feeling weak enough that it doesn’t seem to matter. Winding my arms around his back, I lean forward and soak him in.
His heat.
His strength.
He tenses, but I only hold him tighter — clinging like he’s my life-ring in rough waters, like he’s the only thing keeping my head above the waves of exhaustion crashing through my system.
After a moment, I feel his chin come down to rest on the top of my head. After another, his arms slide cautiously around my back. He holds me like he’s out of practice — as though the simple act of an embrace is so far removed from his normal realm, he’s not sure how to proceed. I’d actually feel sorry for him, if I had a single ounce of emotion leftover to spare for anyone else.
Absurd as it seems, for a long time we stand there in the pouring rain, arms wrapped around each other. Embracing. And it’s not rife with tension, like our interaction earlier. There’s nothing remotely erotic about it. It’s merely one human reaching out in desperate need of comfort; another grabbing hold and offering it freely.
Or maybe that’s just what I tell myself.
I try not to think about the scent of his skin… the sound of his breaths over the patter of the rain… the contour of his chest muscles beneath my cheek… the fact that, if I turned my face up to his, our mouths would be only a few scant inches apart…
Let go.
Step back.
Move away.
I ignore my own advice far too easily. Sucking in a sharp breath, I tilt my head backward to look up at him. His eyes meet mine instantly — blue, blue, blue, and full of questions I can’t answer. From this close, I can make out the thin rings of navy around the edge of each iris.
“Thank you,” I whisper, wishing my voice wasn’t trembling.