Maybe I can stay like this forever. Comfortably numbed to the world. Adrift– quite possibly unhinged – but safe. Alone in my bubble. Untouchable. Maybe it’s better this way.
As much as I wanted to hold ontomy detached catatonia, I knew it couldn’t be healthy. And it was probably a one-way ticket to a padded cell and a lifetime supply of all-you-can-eat Jell-O.
It was then thatI realized there was a paramedic speaking to me in a low, soothing tone, her mouth close to my ear. Turning my eyes to her face, it was as if an un-mute button had abruptly been pressed; all the sounds came rushing back, nearly overwhelming in their volume.
Sirenswailing. Police radios crackling. Curious onlookers whispering. A man’s voice, yelling my name.
“Can you hear me, sweetie? We need to know your name, so we can take care of you.”
“Br—Brooklyn,” I stammered out, my voice sounding fragile. Clearing my throat I tried again, “Brooklyn Turner.”
“Okay,Brooklyn, that’s good. I’m Shannon.” She stared into my eyes searchingly, looking for answers to the mountain of questions that had piled up in however long had passed since I first emerged from the alley. “Do you remember what happened?” she asked me.
I nodded.
“That’s good, Brooklyn,” Shannon smiled encouragingly.
“I was…I was attacked,” I whispered, at once a confession and a plea for understanding. Her eyeswere a warm brown, like melted caramel, and at the moment they were filled with sympathy and worry.
“The police officers are going to have some questions for you in a little while, do you understand?” Shannon asked me. “Your injuries are minimal. You have some scrapes that will need fresh bandages and antiseptic daily, but nothing too serious. They shouldn’t leave scars, but you’ll have some pain and discomfort for the next several days. You may have a broken rib, and your forehead is slightly bruised, as are your upper arms.
“You also need to be aware of the fact that you have a minor concussion. It’s important that you stay awake for the next hour or so, and when you do eventually go to sleep for the night, someone needs to wake you every few hours to check your condition. Do you have anyone who can help take care of you? Your parents?”
I shook my head.
“What about a roommate? A boyfriend, maybe?”
My eyes left her face and once again found Finn in the crowd. He was still facing off with the police officers, trying his damnedest to get to me, but he seemed to be losing hope. The look of dejection and defeat on his face would’ve brought my to my knees – had I been standing and had my knees not already been ripped to shreds, that is.
“Officers,” I called out, with as much strength as I could suffuse into my voice; I hoped it would be enough for them to hear me over the noise of the sirens and the gathering crowd. “Please, let him through. He’s my boyfriend.”
The officers – one of whom I recognized as Officer Carlson, the semi-pudgy policeman who’d investigated the break-in at my apartment – turned to me and nodded. Dropping their arms to allow Finn to pass, he was at my side in an instant. His arms folded around me gently, as though he was afraid I might shatter if he touched me too roughly.
Bringing his forehead down to rest against mine, hestared into my eyes. His own were brimming with unshed tears.
“You’regonna tell me what happened,” he whispered roughly. “Everything. Every detail. And when you’re done, I’m gonna find the fuck who did this to you and make sure he never sees another goddamn sunrise.”
His words were vengeful, but his hands were gentle as theycame up to cup my face. When he pressed his eyes closed, trying to regain control over his emotions, a solitary tear slipped out from beneath his eyelid and tracked down his face. I leaned forward to kiss it off his cheek, and his eyes sprang open to look at me once more.
“Are you okay?” he asked me.
I nodded.
“You scared the fucking shit out of me, you know that?”
I nodded again, my eyes locked on his.
“I saw you leave for the bathroom. Sang two whole songs, and you still hadn’t come back.I knew something wasn’t right – I could feel it. So I stopped playing, found Lexi, and asked her where the hell you were.” His eyes pressed closed again and I saw the tic of a muscle in his cheek as he tried to temper his anger. “She had no idea. She was too busy eye-fucking Ty to even notice you’d been gone for way too long.”
“She didn’t know,” I whispered, coming to Lexi’s defense. I’d beenthe idiot who’d gone outside alone, without my cellphone. This was all on me. “It isn’t her fault, it’s mine.”
“She should’ve fucking known better,” he snarled, clearly not willing to forgive Lexitonight. I decided to let this battle go. For right now, Finn needed someone to blame – someone to take out his anger on. His frustration with her would fade once the police found whoever had attacked me. At least, I hoped it would.
“Finn,” I whispered.“I need to talk to the police. Give them my statement.”
“I’m staying with you,” he told me, his tone leaving no room for argument.I sighed. I hadn’t exactly wanted him to hear all the gory details, but I had no fight left in me. I’d used it all up in that alleyway.
When OfficerCarlson and the other policeman – a thin man with a graying beard and an avuncular manner who introduced himself as Officer O’Callahan – approached, I sat up slowly and Finn moved to stand by the side of the stretcher. He kept his fingers laced with mine, giving my hand reassuring squeezes whenever my voice faltered or I struggled to find the words to explain what had happened during the attack.