When the band announced they’d be taking their first break, Iwatched as Finn, Ty, Scott, and Trent – the final band member who I’d yet to meet – hopped off the stage and were immediately swarmed by groupies. I tried to reel in the unfamiliar, unfounded jealousy I was feeling. Finn wasn’t my boyfriend; sure, we’d had great sex – but we’d never talked about what that meant. We’d certainly never said anything about exclusivity or labels.
Finn was slowly making his way toward the bar; I could just make out his form amid the crowd of girls hanging off him.I’d never felt this way before, nevercaredthis much before, and for a moment I stood rooted to the ground, watching him and feeling like I’d been kicked in the stomach by a steel-toed Timberland boot. Lexi’s eyes were swinging from me, to Finn, then back to me, her expression both sympathetic and wary of my reaction.
Suddenly, I had the strong urge to slap myself across the face. Who was this girl, standing in the shadows and watching a guy she had feelings for get mauled by sluttygroupies? Who was she, waiting on the wings because she was too afraid to step out and face the music? I sure as hell didn’t recognize her.
She wasn’t the person my mother had been.And she definitely wasn’t the person my mother had raised me to be. Closing my eyes, I could almost hear the whisper of her words in my ear; I could nearly feel the warmth of her body pressed to my side as we lay in my childhood bed looking up at my fairytale ceiling.
Brooklyn, some people live their whole lives standing on the cliff’s edge, waiting for some guarantee that when they finally take that leap into the unknown, there’ll be a safety net there to catch them. But those people, Bumblebee? They never reallylive. They watch as their lives pass them by, waiting for something that doesn’t exist.
Because you’ll never be a hundred percent sure of anything. You’ll take chances on people, and they’ll hurt you. You’ll try some things, and you’ll fail at them. And that’s okay, Bee – that’s life. You can’t stop living it because you’re scared. You can’t wait on the cliff’s edge forever, just because it’s safe.
You have to jump.
I had to jump.
Suddenly, before I had time to think aboutwhat I was doing, I was moving – pushing through the crowd to get to him. I unapologetically elbowed my way through the swarm of girls, ignoring their sharp squeals of protest and finally breaking through the circle surrounding Finn. I came to a stop about a yard away from him.
His eyes met mine immediately,as if he’d been waiting for me to materialize from the crowd at any moment. We both stood frozen with several feet between us and simply stared at one other. As our gazes locked, emerald clashing with cobalt, I felt it again: that indescribable force that seemed to tug me in his direction whenever we were close, like two magnets held only centimeters apart – their attraction irrefutable and infinite. The look in his eyes told me two things: firstly, that he felt it too, and secondly, that ithadbeen me he was searching for in the crowd all night.
Jump.
I took one step in his direction and then, so fast my mind hadn’t even registered that he was moving, he’d closed the distance and was there in front of me, a breath away.
“Princess,” he whispered, a hand coming up to stroke the side of my face.
“Caveman,” I breathed back, leaning into his touch.
I felt his smile against my lips the instant before his mouth was on mine, our armstwining around each other simultaneously. I clung to him tightly as our mouths devoured one another, as if it had been months rather than hours since we’d last been together. His hands were everywhere: tangling in my hair, caressing my shoulders, sliding down my back to rest on my hips and pulling me tight against his front so every line of our bodies melded together.
Andas I lost myself in his touch, I didn’t care about the other girls or the fact that we’d never talked about labels or feelings or terms. Because he was Finn, and I was Brooklyn, and in that moment nothing else mattered.
I was home.
I’m not sure how long we stood there, locked together in our own little world, before the catcalls and whispers of the crowd around us broke into my consciousness.
“I think he just got you pregnant,” Lexi’s voicecalled from somewhere behind me. My lips broke away from Finn’s and I twisted to look over my shoulder at her.
“I mean, seriously, that was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen,” she continued, her expression reflective. “I may have had an orgasm just watching.”
Tyler, who was standing by her side, burst out laughing and pulled her into his arms.
“Lex,” I said, giggling. “You need to get out more.”
I detangled my hands from where they were wrapped around Finn’s neck and looked up into his eyes.
“Hey,” I said, smiling.
“You came,” he grinned back at me.
“I told you I would.”
“I know,” he shrugged. “I just figured you’d have found a way to talk yourself out of this by now.”
“Well, fine,” I huffed. “I’ll just leave if that’s what you were expecting,”
Itried to pull away from him. His arms, still wrapped around me from our kiss, didn’t buckle or even loosen as I struggled against his hold.
“Stop fighting me, princess,” Finn said, his voice low. “It’ll be a lot easier for both of us if you quit running away from this and inventing reasons to be mad at me.”