“Look up,” I said, nodding toward the ceiling.
She did as I told her;tilting her head back to examine it, her eyes widened in surprise, then wonder. As she took in the constellation of stars overhead, I saw the floodgates finally break open and watched as tears cascaded down her face. She didn’t move to wipe them away; she simply let them fall as she pivoted in a slow circle, staring up at the beauty Finn had created for me with a simple paintbrush.
I would have hugged her, but I knew from experience that Lexi would only cry harder if I tried to comfort her. Right now, she simply needed quiet time to process her thoughts – so that’s exactly what I gave her. I didn’t leave my spot in the doorway or try to speak to her, and within minutes her tears had dried up. She moved to sit on my bed, looking overwhelmed and slightly shell-shocked. I couldn’t really blame her – I’d felt that way for most of the day.
Turning from the room, I walked back to the kitchen, grabbed both of our drinks, and carried them back to my bedroom. Without a word, I handed Lexi her glass, and she gulped down a fortifying sip.She’d barely said a word, with the exception of my name, for the past three hours. That had to be some kind of record, considering Lexi typically had more trouble staying quiet than most hyper five-year-old children.
I should have known it wouldn’t last long.
Her blank face began to morph, an unmistakable shit-eating grin spreading across her face. “He did this,” she said, gesturing up at the ceiling.
I nodded.
“You let him stay the night,” she noted.
“Yeah,” I shrugged, taking a sip of my drink.
“You like him,” she continued, her smirk still in place.
“Yeah,” I shrugged again, taking an even bigger gulp of my Dirty Shirley.
“You like, really,really, like him,” she squealed, clapping her hands together and beginning to bounce up and down in her seat. I decided that not responding to her was my safest course of action at this point. Any more confessions and she might spontaneously combust.
“You want to go on dates with him, and let him hold your hand, and have little babyBrookFinns – FinnLyns? – with him!”
Well, that escalated quickly.
I stared atLexi in semi-horror and fought to control the instant nausea that had gripped me as soon as those words left her mouth. I never wanted children. I couldn’t – wouldn’t – bring a kid into a world like this one.
Not ever.
But unless I wanted those three Dirty Shirleys I’d consumed to have an encore appearance, I needed to get control of myself. I shoved away my near anxiety attack and reminded myself that Lexi had been joking.
“FinnLyn? Did you seriously just combine our names?” I asked, forcing a laugh.
“I likeBrookFinn better,” Lexi murmured contemplatively. Her eyes were glazed and distant as her mind conjured images of terrifying things – bridesmaid dresses and houses with white picket fences and squirming babies with dark hair and cobalt eyes. I shuddered and tried to ignore her, only just resisting the urge to cover my ears and yellla-la-la-laover and over again until she left me alone.
“You’re lucky youeven have names that mesh. This girl Kylee in my American Lit class is dating a boy named Kyle – total disaster.”
“Totally,” I agreed, snorting into my drink.
“No need to be sarcastic, Brookie,” Lexisaid, snapping out of her white taffeta dreamland and leveling me with an evaluative stare.
Uh oh.I knew that look.
“You have to look epically hot tonight,” she decided. “Boy, do I have my work cut out for me.”
“Bitch!” I protested, smacking her on the arm.
“Oh, shush, I was just kidding,” Lexi said. “You’re notthatbad.”
I glared at her. She giggled.
“You’re beautiful, and you know it,” Lexi rolled her eyes at melikeIwas the ridiculous one, before blowing me an air kiss which I pretended to swat away from my face. “I’m still pulling out the big guns, though.”
I quirked an eyebrow at her,scared to ask what Lexi’s ‘big guns’ entailed.
“TheDress,” Lexi said, as if that explained everything.