He releases me to grab Ryder in a headlock as I turn to Aiden, who’s flushed red with exhilaration. He grins broadly at me and ruffles my hair, but his eyes soon flicker to the space over my shoulder. I’m unsurprised to find Carly standing there when I turn around.
“You’re a goddess!” she screams, grabbing me in an embrace. “A legitimate, real-life goddess!”
“Oh, stop it,” I mutter, embarrassed.
“As you wish, my queen.” She pulls back and bows mockingly, a worshipper at an altar. “Seriously, I am not worthy!”
I laugh despite myself, caught up in the thrill of the moment. Everyone is talking at once — the boys, Francesca, the tech crew. A maelstrom of activity, a vortex of sound and light and color. My eyes are struggling to take it all in at once, when they snag on something. A point of utter stillness in the storm.
Mismatched eyes in a face devoid of all expression.
My grin falls as I hold Ryder’s stare across the backstage mob scene. Anger flares back to life like wind on a bed of red-hot embers as I remember the harsh words we traded before the show. Half of me wants to apologize for everything I did that got us to this point. To douse the flames before they rage out of control. But the other half — the reckless half — wants to stoke that fire to unstoppable heights, even if it singes us both to ashes in the process.
His jaw clenches.
My chin jerks.
His eyes smolder.
Mine narrow dangerously.
“Felicity! Ryder!” Francesca’s voice has both our heads snapping in her direction, blessedly interrupting the moment of tension. “Come on. Your work isn’t over yet — we’ve got forty VIPs on their way back for meet-and-greets and photo-ops.”
Somehow, even that sounds preferable to standing here, wordlessly sparring with a man who knows my every argument before they ever leave my mouth.
Chapter Fourteen
ryder
After an hourof smiling and posing with fans, my cheeks are aching and my temper — which was already hanging by a thread — is about to snap completely.
“I’m, like, your biggest fan ever!” A girl with huge tits leans in, her eyes glazed with lust and liquor as they scan my face. “I legit cannot believe I’m finally meeting you. Like… Oh. My.God. I can’t even. ”
My grin is more of a grimace but apparently she finds it charming enough, given the way she presses closer, intentionally brushing her ample chest against my arm.
“Can I get your autograph?”
“Sure,” I say, grabbing a sharpie off the table behind me. “Do you have a poster?”
“I was thinking…” The girl bites her lip mischievously as she tugs her blouse down to expose the white crests of her cleavage. “Here.”
I swallow down a snort and scrawl something that looks vaguely like my signature across her skin.
“Thank you,” she breathes, blinking up at me like I’ve just made her come.
“Anytime,” I mutter. Against the far wall, I catch sight of Linc and Aiden, both wearing shit-eating grins as they entertain eager VIPs of their own. A few girls are circling them like wolves, moving in for the kill. They sip their beers with easy smiles, more than ready to die for this cause.
Was I ever that carefree?
I barely remember the guy I used to be… before Felicity. The one who bagged a different girl every night and never stayed till morning. The one who used to burn through conquests faster than cigarettes, chain-smoking without remorse.
It’s shitty to admit, but in my mind all those girls are as indistinct and interchangeable as the butts I toss to the ground when my craving is satisfied. One long parade of meaningless sex without strings.
Until she stepped into my path and changed everything.
“So…” The girl is still clinging to me like a piece of lint. “What’s it like, living on the road?”
“Seeing as the tour hasn’t really started yet, I wouldn’t know,” I say, forcing a polite tone.