“You’re a real piece of work, you know that?”
I go stiff. “Excuse me?”
The crowd has taken up an impatient two-syllable chant —wild-wood, wild-wood— and the roadies at our sides are shuffling in the dark, wondering how the hell they’re going to get us on that stage before a riot breaks out.
We ignore them, glaring into each other’s eyes in the pitch blackness.
“You’re angry at me,” I breathe incredulously, finally understanding that his cold shoulder is not a sign of icy indifference, but is instead hiding an arctic fury.
“You’re damn right, I’m angry.”
“What reason on earth doyoupossibly have to be mad atme?”
The world has flipped on its axis.
“For fuck’s sake, Felicity,” he growls. “How can you ask me that?”
“I believe I just did.”
His teeth clench.
“Ryder.”
“You want to know why I’m angry? How’s this for a reason — You left me.You left me,Felicity.”
“But—”
“I didn’t know if you were alive or dead.You ripped my heart from my chest and left me to walk this earth alone, all the while wondering if you were even still on it. For two fucking years I didn’t know where you were. I didn’t even know if you were still breathing.” His voice drops lower and he takes a step into my space, until we’re chest to chest, closer than we’ve been since it all went to hell. “I didn’t think I’d ever see you again. And the worst part is, I know with absolute certainty, if not for Francesca’s intervention, I never would’ve. You’d have left me in the dark for the rest of my life.”
My retort is small, but stubborn. “I had no choice.”
“YOU HAD EVERY CHOICE!” His roar is so loud, even the roadies flinch back. “You could’ve trusted me enough to stay, to hear me out, instead of disappearing on me like a goddamned ghost.”
“Trusted you?” I force back tears. “Explain to me exactly how I was supposed to trust you, at that point? You were high, for weeks. Formonths.And you hid it from me.”
He steps closer. “You tell yourself it’s all my fault, if that helps you sleep better at night. But when it comes to trust, the truth is, I never had yours to lose. Never. Not for a single fucking moment. Becauseyou don’t trust anyone, Felicity.”
“That’s not—”
“No.I’m talking, now. I’ve kept quiet for weeks. I’ve played my part. I’ve given you space and time. Hell, I was ready to let you walk away, even though it fucking killed me to do it, because I thought that’s what you wanted! It’s what you asked for, isn’t it? And yet, here you are: pissed at me for staying away. For beingcold. For not going out of my way to look after your feelings, like a good boyfriend should.” His laugh is hollow with grief and fury and so much pain it stuns me. “Except I’m not your boyfriend anymore, baby.We’re over.Isn’t that right? Isn’t that what you’re so fond of telling the cameras every fucking time I turn around?”
I swallow hard, unable to speak.
The crowd behind us is deafening, now.
Wild-wood. Wild-wood. Wild-wood.
“So which is it, Felicity?” he whispers in a lethal tone. “Because you can’t have it both ways. Do you want me to leave you alone? Or do you want me to stay? Do you want me to care? Or do you want me to walk away? Make up your mind and put us both out of our goddamned misery!”
We stare at each other, our labored breaths mingling, and I realize just how close we’re standing. A hairsbreadth from disaster, with eyes only for each other. A millimeter from utter destruction, with the whole world waiting on us.
Wild-wood. Wild-wood. Wild-wood.
“Thank you so much for the clarification,” I say with frigid calm. “I won’t make the mistake of asking about this again.”
“Perfect,” he hisses back, the word a punch to the gut.
Tearing my eyes away from his, I swallow hard, square my shoulders, and finally address the roadie hovering eagerly a few feet away.