I nod. “Over six months without a drink or a drug.”
The audience starts to applaud, cheering for me. Someone screams “WE LOVE YOU, RYDER!” at the top of their lungs. For their benefit, I attempt to look gracious and humble, but all I can think about is the girl sitting by my side, who’s been listening to my every word with hyper-intense focus. Clearly, my sobriety is as much news to her as it is the rest of the world.
Does she care that I’m not using, anymore?
My teeth clench to keep from glancing over at her. I wish I knew what she was thinking; wish I could look inside her mind, see past those fortresses that guard her heart.
Does it matter at all that I’m trying my damndest to be the man she always thought I was?
Eileen’s clapping tapers off, and the room follows suit. “Congratulations on your recovery, Ryder, that’s truly wonderful news. We’re certainly all rooting for your health and happiness.” Her gaze darts to Felicity. “Now, I wouldn’t be very good at my job if I didn’t ask whetheryoursudden disappearance from public life was at all related to Ryder’s struggles?”
Felicity forces a stiff smile. “Like Ryder said — life has its peaks and valleys. We all deal with those altitude changes in our own unique way. I was sorting out some of my own issues, and I chose to do that in private, out of the spotlight.” She pauses carefully. “Strange as it may sound, I’ve never been great at being the center of attention.”
“Nonsense!” Eileen objects. “You’re a natural! A born star!”
Felicity shakes her head. “At the end of the day… I’m just a normal girl who wants a quiet life. That’s what I’ve always wanted.”
The numb ache inside my chest plummets a few degrees.
“But your grandmother, rest her soul, was Bethany Hayes — one of the brightest stars in country music,” Eileen points out. “You could say fame is in your blood, Felicity. Don’t you think you have an obligation to honor her, by continuing that legacy?”
Felicity’s eyes start to gloss over with tears at the mention of her Gran. The sight makes me want to pull her into my arms, to crush her against my chest and give her the comfort she so desperately needs.
“I…” She swallows hard. “I don’t…”
When I see Eileen’s mouth opening, preparing to launch another strike, my protective instincts roar to life.
“Felicity honors her grandmother’s legacy every day, simply by being who she is — someone kind and compassionate, with quiet resilience and an inner strength anyone could admire. She may insist she’s anormal girl, but I’m telling you — there’s nothing remotely ordinary about her. She is a star, and that holds true whether or not she ever sings another note.”
There’s a moment of absolute silence in the studio before the crowd erupts in enthusiastic cheers. I don’t dare look over at Felicity; I keep my eyes on Eileen, waiting to see how she’ll react now that I’ve cut off her line of interrogation.
“Right you are, Ryder. Right you are.” Her lips purse with annoyance, but she’s smart enough to back off. “Thank you both so much for opening up. I think I speak for everyone in the crowd today, and everyone at home watching, when I tell you we’re so happy you’ve found your way back into our lives.” Pausing intently, Eileen reaches out and squeezes Felicity’s hand. “But, can you tell us… how exactly did you find your way back intoeach other’slives?”
Well, Eileen, after Route 66 threatened to sue for millions…
I see Felicity floundering for an answer, and I smoothly cut in. “The music, of course. It’s what brought us together in the first place, and it’s what brought us back into contact recently.” I strive for a sincere tone. “Whether we’re on stage singing or a thousand miles apart… we’ll always have the music.”
“Apart?”Eileen pounces on the word. “Does that mean… are you saying… you twoaren’ttogether?”
My jaw clenches. “Well—”
“In a way, we’ll always be together as long as we’re connected by the band,” Felicity interrupts. “But… No, it’s not romantic between us anymore. We’re better off as friends than we ever were as a couple.”
There’s a hiss from the crowd — several hundred people sucking in their breath all at once.
Myself included.
Felicity’s voice quivers. “I mean, there’s usually a reason things fall apart, right?”
I nod in agreement, as though a she hasn’t just ripped my fucking heart out.
Her hands are tight fists, but her tone is light. “Neither of us wants to make the same mistakes we did before.”
She thinks we were a mistake.
“Oh, you two!” Eileen exclaims, a hand thrown over her heart as her eyes flip back and forth between us. “You must know, you’re breaking hearts all over America, right now!”
“I’m sorry!” Felicity’s lips twist in a smile, but it’s got a sad edge. “But even if we aren’t together, we’re still the same old Wildwood.”