felicity
I sitin my dark bedroom, chewing my bottom lip.
It’s late. I can hear Adam, Isaac, and Jay closing up the bar downstairs, ushering people our the door. Their laughter only highlights the misery consuming me.
How quickly things shifted from love and light and music to blood and darkness and mayhem.
Carly walked me home from Tootsie’s, her hand clasped tight around mine. She kept up a constant stream of one-sided conversation as she buoyed me along, but I couldn’t for the life of me tell you a single word she said. I was lost in my thoughts, replaying the look on Ryder’s face when he glanced up, blood dripping from his mouth, and spotted me in the crowd. I saw an irrefutable goodbye in his eyes as they locked on mine.
Get her out of here, Carly.
I fought. I tried to stay. But Carly dragged me like a woman possessed. On our way to the door, we passed several bouncers, all running full-tilt toward the roof with grim expressions. Two uniformed police officers were close on their heels.
For all I know, Ryder could be in jail. Or, if Lincoln got his way,worse.
I reach up and trace my lips with the tip of my finger. If I close my eyes, I can still feel his kiss consuming me. It was the best kiss of my life, by a long shot. The few fumbling boys I made out with in high school during games of spin-the-bottle and rounds of Seven Minutes in Heaven simply cannot compare.
It’s not just because Ryder is more experienced; it’s because he’shim.
He put his lips on mine and I felt it everywhere, like defibrillator paddles restoring rhythm during a Code Blue. I didn’t realize I was half-dead until he jumpstarted my faulty, failing heart. He kissed me and, suddenly, I’m wide awake for the first time in years. I’mliving.
…and he’s leaving
That’s what the fight was about. That’s why he got so weird the other night after Lacey called him. He’s got a record deal out in Los Angeles. A few hours from now, he’ll be on a plane, headed far away from here.
Far away from me.
I feel like I’ve been woken from a coma against all odds, a medical marvel, only to be told I’ve got a few hours left to live. It’s not fair that the one man I really could’ve let myself fall for, the one man I really could’ve lo—
No.
I shut out that thought before it can fully enter my brain. Dressed in my favorite t-shirt, I slide under the covers and curl into a ball, knowing full well that no matter how long I lie here, sleep will be a long time coming tonight.
* * *
I’m notsure what wakes me.
Some small, muffled sound on the steps outside my room. Or perhaps my body is simply alerted to his presence by that magnetic current that seems to run beneath his skin, throwing charges at anyone who comes too close.
It’s still dark outside my window as I creep to my feet and peer out. There are no signs of life, but when I squint into the shadows I can just make out a lumpy, familiar shape sitting on my small landing. Heart racing, I push aside the heavy rocking chair I use as a barricade each night, slip off the security chain, and yank open the door.
My guitar case is propped against the railing, waiting for me. There’s no sign of whoever dropped it off, but I know in my heart there’s only one person in the world it could possibly be.
“Ryder?” I call in a tentative whisper, my eyes sweeping the empty parking lot. There’s no response. No sign of him at all. “Ryder!”
He’s already gone.
I don’t think. Hell, I don’t even put on shoes. I just run — past my guitar, down the stairs, across the pavement. I’m desperate to catch him. My heart is slamming against my ribs as I round the corner of the building into the alley, hoping like hell he hasn’t gotten too far. Seeing as I’m wearing nothing but a large t-shirt and skimpy boy shorts, I’m not exactly dressed for a long excursion through the streets of Nashville.
I skid to a sudden halt.
He’s sitting in the exact spot where we first met, on the steps of the back exit. There’s a cigarette hanging from the corner of his mouth and he’s flicking his thumb against the flint wheel of his lighter rhythmically. Each time it sparks to life, his face is illuminated briefly in the inky darkness.
“Ryder.”
He flinches at the sound of my voice, but doesn’t glance up.
“You weren’t even going to say goodbye?” My voice cracks.