“Go to sleep, Ian. When you wake up, we’ll be on a rescue boat. On our way home. You hearme?”
He nodsweakly.
I press my cheek to his and whisper into his ear. “You’ll get better, and then I’ll bring you to New Hampshire to meet Mom. You two will have so many inside jokes, I won’t be able to keepup.”
“Sounds…perfect.”
I nod, barely keeping myself together. “It will be. We’ll build a big house. By the lake, not the ocean — I think we’ve spent enough days looking at crashing waves to last a lifetime, don’t you? We’ll get married in a big ceremony. Your whole family will come. Your ex will be so jealous, when she findsout.”
He tries to chuckle, but it turns to a jaggedcough.
“We’ll have a bunch of kids. Loud ones, with your sense of humor. You’ll all tease me constantly, but I won’t mind, because we’ll be so happy. The kind of happy that makes total strangers smile on the street, and turns the closest friends green with envy, wishing they had a life like ours. The kind of happy they write fairy talesabout.”
A small sound escapes him — half sigh, half exhale. His chest goes still beneath mine. No breaths move from his partedlips.
I cling tighter to his shoulders, pressing in as if to keep him with me one more second. There’s no denying the truth,though.
He’sgone.
I reach up and close his unseeingeyes.
“We’ll be so happy,” I whisper again, feelinghollow.
I doubt I’ll ever be happyagain.
Chapter Fourteen
P A R T I N GS
We bury him at daybreak,on a jagged cliff on the east side of the island where the dirt is soft and the views are spectacular. It’s the first spot the light hits every morning when the sun creeps up over the horizon. Here, Ian will always be warm, always bathed in the same light he carried inside his soul. Here, he’ll finally be out of pain. Atpeace.
Beck smooths the dirt flat with a crude wooden spade as I watch dawn slowly bask the world in a swathe of red. At the sight, an old adage pops into myhead.
Red sky at morning, sailors take warning. Red sky at night, sailor’sdelight.
A storm isbrewing.
Good.
It’ll match the one inside me. As far as I’m concerned, the weather can tear me to pieces. My soul is already shredded beyondrepair.
Finished with his bleak task, Beck rises to his feet and moves to my side. I lift my empty eyes and watch his face contract with worry when sees how haunted theyare.
“Violet…”
“Don’t.” My head shakes swiftly. “Don’t say anything kind. I can’t bearit.”
He’s silent for a long moment. “Are youready?”
My browslift.
“To saygoodbye.”
I suck in a sharp gulp of air. “No. But I’ll never be, so we might as well get it over withnow.”
His gaze is searching. “Do you want to saysomething?”
“I don’t really believe in anything specific,” I whisper. “I don’t know if Ian did, either. We didn’t talk aboutreligion.”