“Instride? Really?” Ian laughs weakly. “Now who’s punning, funnygirl?”
My cheeks heat as I realize my unintentional blunder. “Oh, god! I didn’t mean— That came out totally wrong. Ian, Ididn’t—”
“We’ve really gotten off on the wrong foot, haven’t we?” he asks, eyestwinkling.
The wrongfoot!
“You’re incorrigible,” I tell him, blushingprofusely.
He and Beck both chuckle, equally amused by mydiscomfort.
“Don’t fret,” Ian murmurs. “I’m only pulling yourleg.”
I set my features in a stern expression, but can’t quite hide my smile. “Just drink your damnwater.”
He takes a few sips from the bottle. I urge him to go slow, but he’s undeniably thirsty after days without a proper drink. In his weakened state, taking even one sip too fast can send water into his lungs — a fact which becomes apparent when he begins to coughviolently.
Grin falling off my face, I watch helplessly as he wheezes for almost a full minute, choking on the trapped fluid in his airway. When he gets his breathing back under control, he attempts a reassuring smile, but I can see how exhausted the coughing spell has left him. These few short moments of consciousness have etched the pallor of exhaustion back over hisfeatures.
“You need your rest.” I twist the cap back on the water bottle and set it aside. “We’ll talk more in themorning.”
He nods weakly, eyelids flutteringclosed.
“If you need anything, just call out,” I tell him, adjusting the blankets more firmly around his body. “I’m a lightsleeper.”
“Goodnight, darlin’,” he drawls in that adorable accent, half-gonealready.
“Goodnight,Ian.”
He falls asleep a few seconds later. The camp is strangely silent without his cheerful tones. I can feel Beck hovering behind me in the dark, waiting for me to break the silence. I pointedly ignore him as I make my way over to my sleepingpallet.
I can’t look at him. Iwon’t.
It’s far toodangerous.
Staring up at the stars, I hear him settle in on his own pallet across the fire. He sighs and shifts every few moments, evidently as restless as I am. The phraseout of sight, out of minddoes not apply when it comes to us. I can’t see him, but he’s all I can thinkabout.
My earlier words replay in my head on an unendingloop.
What is it about me being seventeen that’s got you so tangled up inside,Beck?
I torture myself for hours, speculating what would’ve happened between us if Ian hadn’t interrupted at the last moment. I’m still wide awake when the temperature drops and the breeze off the water sweeps through our camp, cold enough to give me goosebumps. Light rain begins to fall and I shiver silently in the dark, trying not to remember how much warmer it was to sleep in the curve of Beck’s body, sharing hisheat.
He tosses and turns again, clearly uncomfortable. I can’t help wondering if his thoughts are aligned withmine.
If they are, he doesn’t act onthem.
Neither doI.
We shake in the dark on our separate pallets, looking up at the same night sky from opposite sides of a hissing fire. Bound together by invisible strings. Without a single spoken word or stolen glance, I can feel him like an extension of my ownbody.
I don’t see what the big deal is,I hear myself telling him.This doesn’t changeanything.
His sharp scoff still echoes off the walls of my whirlingmind.
It changes everything,Violet.
* * *