“I broke him,” I mumbled. “So he hates me.” A solitary tear escaped from under my lashes and tracked down my cheek. “But I love him,” I added in a broken whisper.
“Christ,” Fae cursed under her breath, her tone softening. I felt the cushion beneath my head sink as she scooted closer to me, followed by the gentle touch of a hand on my hair, petting me in long soothing strokes a mother might use to calm an upset child. “Lux, love. Why didn’t you ever say anything about him?”
A sob rattled in my chest but I forced it down, trembling with the effort.
I will not shatter. I will not break. I will get through this, just like last time.
“Shhh,” Fae breathed, listening to my small hiccups of air as I fought for control. “It’s okay, love. Just relax.”
I listened to her quiet words, breathing in and out until my chest stopped aching and my tears had subsided. And with Fae’s voice in my ears and her hand in my hair, I slipped over the line of consciousness and was dead to the world.
***
The loud ringing woke me from a deep slumber.
My eyes snapped open to find my apartment cloaked in blackness. Bleary eyes yet unadjusted to the pervasive dark, I threw off the blanket Fae must’ve tucked around me before leaving and fumbled for my phone on the coffee table. My head was pounding and night had fallen outside my window, which meant I’d been out for several hours.
“Hello?” My voice was huskier than usual, cracking with the remnants of sleep I’d yet to shake off.
“Babe! You okay? I didn’t wake you, did I?”
Desmond.
“I’m fine, just nodded off for a few minutes I guess,” I fibbed, rubbing an aching temple with my free hand. Pulling the phone away from my ear, I glanced down at the screen. It was 9:57 — I’d been out for nearly three hours. More of a mini-coma than a nap, but Desmond didn’t need to know that. “What’s up?”
“You never called,” he reminded me, his voice curious without being accusatory.
Shit. I slapped an open palm against my forehead. We’d had dinner plans.
“Oh, crap. I completely spaced. I’m sorry, Des. Really, I mean it.” I cleared my throat lightly. “I just had a crap day, and came straight home after work to try and get my head together.”
“And here I thought you were excited about my mac and cheese,” he teased lightly, clearly unaffected by my memory slip. “Don’t worry, though. Since it’s the only thing I know how to cook, the statistical probability of you getting to try it at some point in the future is highly in your favor.”
I smiled into the phone. This was why I liked Desmond — no guilt-trips or underhanded barbs. No manipulations or mind-fuckery. He was surface-level: what you saw was what you got.
“I’ll look forward to that.”
“Good. Can I see you tomorrow?” he asked.
“No can do,” I told him, the smile slipping off my face. “Tomorrow’s Friday, which means—”
“Girl’s night. I know, I know. Can’t fault a guy for trying though.”
“Hey, take it up with Fae. She actually hacked into my Google Calendar app and programmed herself in for every Friday night for the next five years. Seriously, my iPhone screen flashes little ‘Fae Friday — Attendance Mandatory’ alerts every 20 minutes in the four hours leading up to girl’s night. I can’t figure out how to turn the damn things off.”
Des laughed. “Yeah, but babe, technology is really not your strong suit. Need I remind you of the TiVo incident?”
“Oh, of course you’d bring that up!” I rolled my eyes. “I’ll have you know thatanyonecould’ve made that mistake. The ‘delete’ button shouldnotbe located right next to ‘record.’ It’s just not practical. Poor planning by the manufacturer,” I noted. “And, really, what man needs immediate access to every single rerun ofSportsCenterever broadcasted? With your ass fused permanently to your couch, all those pretty arm muscles you spend your days building would’ve shriveled right up. So I’m pretty sure in the long run I did you a favor.”
Desmond didn’t respond. He was laughing too hard.
“Good logic, babe. Really stellar,” he choked out when he’d finally regained control.
“I certainly thought so. And at least you can laugh about it now,” I reflected. “At the time, I thought your head might explode.”
“I’ll call you soon,” he promised, and I could hear the smile in his voice.
“I might just answer,” I teased.