Parker nods and looks around, grinning at Chrissy, Shelby,andme.
“Lila.” His eyes twinkle. “I’ve been hearing some pretty interesting developments about you all the way out in the South Pacific. Zoe keeps me up to date on all the friend groupdrama.”
My browslift. “Oh?”
He laughs but doesn’t elaborate. There’s no time to press him for details about his cryptic comment, because the venue coordinator appears at the door with a clipboard clutched in herhands.
“It’s time! The guests are seated upstairs and the groomsmen are lined up, ready to go. Phoebe, if you’ll just wait here for a few moments, until Nathaniel is on the upper level. The rest of you can follow me whenever you’re ready, and we’ll getstarted.”
I glance at my best friend. Reaching out, I squeeze her hand. She squeezes back in silence, love shining in her eyes. I know, in a few moments, Team Phee-Lilah may be coming to an end… but I can’t summon even an iota of sadness about it. When someone you love is so unbearably, incandescently happy, all you can do is shinewiththem.
“I’m ready,” Phoebe whispers, straightening her shoulders and smiling wide. “Let’s get this show ontheroad.”
My heart pounds erratically inside my chest as we enter the main room and make our way up the spiral walkway around the tank, past a blue wall of tropical fish, turtles, and rays. Halfway to the top, we find the groomsmen. They’re all stunningly handsome in their gray suits and blue ties, but my eyes cut straight to Luca. Our gazes lockinstantly.
I suck in a breath as I close the distance between us and take my place at his side. My fingers clench the stems of my bouquet so hard the tips turn white. Behind me, I hear Chrissy giving Winston, her son, a last-minute pep talk before he bears the rings down the aisle accompanied by Phoebe’s Pomeranian, Boo, who’s wearing a navy bow-tie on his collar for the occasion. Upstairs, the string quartet starts playing, a sure sign that things are about tostart.
I know I should look away from Luca, but I can’t. Our eyes are having one of those wordless conversations we’re soadeptat.
You look beautiful,hedoesn’tsay.
Not bad yourself in that suit,I don’ttease.
Forgiven me yet?hedoesn’task.
I wish it were that simple,I don’tadmit.
Never been a fan of simple, babe.His eyes glitter.Nothing extraordinary evercomeseasy.
My gaze snaps away as the music swells. Nate is already gone. Up ahead, Winnie starts walking, the ring box in one small hand, Boo’s blue leash in the other. Gemma and Chase wait a few beats before they follow him, linking arms and walking in slow, steady steps up the spiral. They look stunningtogether.
Luca’s arm appears in my peripheral. I glance up at him as I slide my fingers around his forearm, then give a slight nod to let him know I’m ready. And then we’re off — two redheads, arms intertwined, the facade of a couple on our way to celebrate someone else’s happily everafter.
It feels more like a death march than a weddingprocession.
Luca is standing barely an inch from me, but he feels a million miles away. I know there’s no one else to blame butmyself.
You really fucked this up, didn’tyou,Lila?
Eyes stinging, I stumble a bit as we step onto the aisle, buffeted on all sides by chairs full of smiling faces. Luca is so attuned to me, he feels me trip almost before I do, and steadies me so instantly, I doubt anyone watching evennotices.
My fingers grip his arm tighter as we walk down the aisle, up onto the platform. Before we part, he squeezes my hand. I haul in a deep breath as we file into our places, directly opposite each other. His eyes never shift from mine, not even when the quartet crescendos and Phoebe appears, looking statuesque and stunning alongside her brother. They don’t move away when Parker hands her off to Nate and takes his seat beside Zoe in the front row. They don’t waver as the minister begins theceremony.
I watch my best friend marry the man of her dreams; I see the look of pure love on their faces as they exchange gold bands and say words that will bind them for life. And I know, in my heart, that I’ve made amistake.
That Luca wasright.
Mimi wouldn’t want me to live like this — afraid to experience that kind of love. Shelovedlove. She exuded it from every pore. Using her as a crutch to avoid ever getting attached, or hurt, orheartbroken…
It’s acopout.
“I now pronounce you husband and wife,” the minister is saying suddenly. “You may kiss thebride.”
Nate sweeps Phoebe into his arms and kisses her. Her bouquet-bearing hand shoots straight up into the sky — a victorious, floral fist-pump of celebration. Standing there, with everyone around me clapping and cheering for the happy couple, my eyes lock on Luca’s across the din, as they once did in a crowded gym last December, the first night we met. For a single moment, with his eyes burning into mine, I letitin.
Thehope.
That one day, this won’t seem so terribly complicated. That one day, I won’t be afraid of this thing between us. That he’ll give me time to figure it out, before moving on to a girl who doesn’t haveissues.