“In case you haven’t noticed, we can’t go five minutes without fighting! Yet another reason WE SHOULDN’T LIVETOGETHER!”
“Babe, half the time our fights are bullshit excuses for you to create distance between us, and the other half are foreplay. Already told you, I’m okay with the bullshit. Definitely okay with the foreplay, too, since what comes after is hands down the best sex I’veeverhad.”
My stomachflips.
He leans closer. “So yeah, we’ll probably fight, we’ll probably drive each other half crazy, but I don’t really give a shit because I’ve never felt this way about anyone before and, bullshit aside, I know you feel the same way.” His words hit me like a right hook to the stomach. “You may want to deny it, you may not be ready to face it, but the fact is… you and me are together. And if that scares the shit out of you? Fine. Be scared. But do it here.Withme.”
“I— I—” I pull in a sharp breath. “I don’t know how todothis—”
“NeitherdoI.”
I can’t make eye contact. “Maybe… if you just give me some time to figurethingsout…”
His eyes narrow. “How much time? A week? A year? Enough to talk yourself out of even trying? Or maybe enough for me to give up altogether and walk away, like you seem so convinced I’m going to do anyminutenow?”
I wince at his bitinghonesty.
“Delilah… I’d give you all the time in the world if I thought for one minute that’s what you were really asking for, here. If that’s what this was really about. But it’s bullshit. You don’t need time to adjust to this, or space to figure things out. You want time to convince yourself it’s not worth giving usashot.”
“Why are you pushing this?” I whisper, tears streaming down my cheeks. “Whynow?”
“Have you already forgotten about last night? There are bad people after you. Police are on the lookout for them, so is Knox Investigations, but until they’re behind bars and we’ve dealt with the root of the problem, I’m not leaving your side. That means finding your brother before Scarpetta and Grafton do, plus making sure their boss doesn’t send in backups, when we take them off the board. Could take hours, could take days, could takeweeks.”
“And after?”Iask.
A muscle leaps in his jaw. “Afterwhat?”
“After they’re behind bars. Then what happens with you and me?” I stare at him. “We just… go our separate ways? I move out, no harm no foul? Back to our old routine of avoidance?” My voice cracks. “That’s just going to make this harder, whenitends.”
“Ah. Andthere it is.” His eyes flash. “The real reason behind all this. You’re fucking terrified to get close. To get hurt. We’ve barely started and you’ve already planned ourending.”
“I have to get ready for Phoebe’s wedding,” I say, voice clogged with tears. I push past him and start walking toward the bedroom. “I don’t have timeforthis.”
“Well, I don’t have time for you to spend the next lifetime deciding if we’re worth taking a chance on. Christ, you say I’mpushingyou? Delilah, without a push, we’d be eighty fucking years old by the time you realized we’re supposed to be together!” His voice is half-roar, half-plea. “Don’t know why it’s so hard for you to see that. I saw it the first time I looked inyoureyes.”
I freeze in thedoorway.
His voice gets soft — not gentle, though. Soft like a blade sliding between two ribs, a whisper of steel that pierces yourheart.
“I know your sister died. I know you’ve never really gotten over it. But you can’t keep using your grief over her life being cut short as an excuse to stop livingyours.”
I flinch as though he’s struck me. My shoulders shake a bit as an unstoppable sob movesthroughme.
I know he sees it, because I hear him curse lowly under his breath, voice stripped of all anger and full of remorseinstead.
“Fuck. Delilah, I didn’t mean…” He blows out a breath. “I was pissed, it came out wrong.” His voice is grave as he forces out two infrequently used words. “I’msorry.”
I don’trespond.
I don’t show any indication that I’ve heard hisapology.
I simply step over the threshold, walk to the bathroom, and lock the door behind me, not sure who I’m more upset with: Luca ormyself.
ChapterFourteen
If you don’t have anything nice to say… say something witty but emotionallydevastating.
Delilah Sinclair, plotting her enemies’destruction.