“Oh, goodie!” Her voice drops to a conspiratorial whisper. “I love virgins.”
A startled giggle bursts from my mouth. I feel more at ease already.
“Don’t worry, we’ll take good care of you.” Eileen squeezes my hand. “I’ll do a quick intro before we launch in. Grayson first, then you following. Just remember — no profanity. This segment airs nationwide in about an hour, so we don’t have time to edit much out.”
I gulp.
She smiles kindly. “Relax. Be natural. Be yourself. Don’t overthink it too much.”
“Thanks.”
“Plus, you’ve got Grayson here to keep you on course.” She pinches his cheek playfully.
He swats her hand away.
Eileen adjusts the wired microphone inside her blouse as she peers out at the set. A producer is waving wildly at her.
“That’s my cue! I’ll see you out there, kids.”
With that, she walks out on stage, waving at the crowd. They roar and rise to their feet, applauding like mad as she makes her way over to her trademark white chair. There’s a matching settee, big enough for Grayson and me to sit on, set up beside it. If not for the crowd and the three enormous cameras zooming in on Eileen to capture her every angle, it would look like a posh living room in a Pottery Barn catalogue.
“Welcome toThe Eileen Show!” Eileen settles in on her chair, perfectly at ease as three hundred people chant her name. She ignores them, speaking directly into the center camera. “We’ve got a fantastic show lined up for you today and some great prizes to give away later.” The cheers swell to a roar. “But first, I’d like you to put your hands together and give a very warm welcome to our first guest. You’ll recognize him from the famousStarkillerfranchise — as well as the shirtless poster of him hanging over your teenage sister’s bed —” Grayson snorts. “That’s right, folks! We’ve got Grayson Dunn here today to talk about his new movie! Grayson… get your toned butt out here!”
The screaming crescendoes so loud that the air seems to vibrate as Grayson walks onto the stage, his demeanor shifting subtly with each stride. His eyes adopt a seductive glint, his mouth purses in his trademark bad-boy pout. He always exudes raw sexual energy but as he steps in front of the crowd now, it’s like someone has reached inside his chest and turned a knob from simmer to boil. He’s magnetic. Every eye is on him as he swaggers to the settee like a god.
Confronted with the object of all their fantasies, the frenzied women in the crowd scream his name and dissolve into a mob of estrogen-fueled madness. I see their red cheeks and streaming eyes, their hyperventilation and hysteria, and it kindles an uncomfortable sensation inside me. There’s something alarming about that level of devotion from people you’ve never actually met.
It takes a long time for them to settle down. Eventually, Eileen has to rise to her feet and motion for silence.
“So, do you think they’re excited to see you?” she asks dryly, staring at Grayson.
He gives his bestyou-know-you-love-megrin as the crowd cheers again.
Eileen giggles girlishly. “I have another surprise guest to introduce in a few moments, but first let me tell you all a little story about the first time I met Grayson…”
Shifting back and forth on numb feet, I tune out the anecdote the crowd is licking up like ice cream off a spoon. Nausea grips me tightly.
How the hell am I going to followthatthunderous introduction? Most of these women in the crowd either don’t have any idea who I am, or they hate me for supposedly breaking up Grayson and Helena, thanks to the slew of unflattering tabloid stories that ran while we were filming in Hawaii.
Visions of them staring blankly — or worse, booing — as I step from the wings flit through my mind. I can feel myself starting to spiral into panic as I watch Eileen and Grayson conversing easily on the stage, knowing that this recording will be broadcast into every house in the nation in a matter of minutes.
It’s almost unbelievable that, after all my time in front of the cameras, all my experience at auditions and call backs, I’d be suffering from stage frightnow, in this moment. And yet, undeniably, that’s what I’m experiencing — the shallow breaths, rapid heartbeat, aching temples, and foggy thoughts are a dead giveaway.
Perhaps my sudden panic is because, until this point, it’s never mattered much what I said to the press. I was nobody. Four months ago, I could’ve stood naked on top of Warner Brothers’ studio doing the flamenco and no one would’ve blinked twice.
But now… nothing I do goes unnoticed. There’s a very good chance I could, in fact, fuck things up beyond repair — not just for my own career, but for the movie.
If I’m stiff and awkward and charmless… Who would pay to see me on the big screen? Who would care about my chemistry with Grayson?
Don’t go out there.
You’ll screw it up.
Cynthia was right.
Bail. Run. Bolt.
“Hey.” A voice pulls me out of the dark place I’ve slipped into. I feel a warm palm on my shoulder, a solid presence at my side. “Hey. Don’t look at them. Look at me.”