“Um…” She shrugs, slightly embarrassed by her rant. “That’s what my sisters say, anyway.”
“Right.” I fight a laugh. “Well, Nate didn’t do any of my housework. Nor did he show up outside my door like that guy inLove Actuallywith a sign that says, ‘To me, you are perfect.’ Nor did he apologize or evenpretendto be civil as he barked orders after ten years of selective mutism.”
“I’m guessing he didn’t pop your cherry, either,” Lila announces loudly, drawing glances from several men at the surrounding tables.
“Could you say that any louder? I don’t think the bartender on the lower level heard you.Oh!Maybe I could find you a bullhorn so you can broadcast it to the entire bar…”
She rolls her eyes. “It’s nothing to be embarrassed about. And if it’s really such an issue, there are plenty of men who’d be more than happy to take care of that little problem for you.”
“You mean Steve, the guy who watches Boo and waters my plants when I go away for the weekend?” My nose wrinkles. “He smells like tea tree oil and I think he still lives with his mom.”
I grimace at the thought and take a large sip of my drink.
“No.” She leans in, eyes alight with mischievous thoughts. “I mean Duncan.”
I nearly snort alcohol through my nose. “Your brother?” I choke, trying to catch a breath.
“Maybe.” A coy smile twists Lila’s lips. “He’s asked about you, the last few times we’ve done lunch. And now that he’s moved back from California…”
“I haven’t seen him since he puked in my purse after the Sadie Hawkins dance.”
Her eyes narrow defensively. “Well, he’s grown up. He runs his own company — some kind of social media startup. He’s very successful.”
I force myself not to scoff. Every rich kid with a trust fund has a startup, these days, just for the thrill of calling themselves CEO. Whether they actually do any work in that position…Debatable.
“That’s great,” I say, hoping the words don’t sound as lackluster as they feel coming out of my mouth.
“You could do a lot worse, Phoebe. Duncan is wealthy, nice, good-looking, and — unlike that other asshole you’ve set your heart on — he’sinterested. If you give him a chance, I know you two will hit it off.”
I try not to twitch. Lila has always harbored a cliché fantasy that one day her best friend and her brother will get married, and we’ll all live happily ever after in adjacent mansions on Nantucket with a brood of children.
Let’s just say… it’s a dream I’ve never shared.
In fact… let’salsosay I’d rather wear perfume scented like the Boston Bruin’s hockey locker room for a straight week than go out on another date with Duncan.
“Maybe,” I murmur noncommittally.
“Wow, Phee, that wassoenthusiastic.”
“Sorry. It’s just—”
“Knox.” She sighs deeply. “I know.”
“Believe me, I wish itweren’tNate. I wish it were anyonebutNate. But he’s like…”
“An STD.” Lila nods sagely.
“What?”
“Irritating. Indisputably linked to your lady parts. Can go years without making an appearance. And ultimately… incurable.”
“Wow. That was beautiful, Lila.”
“I try.” She grins. “So, let me see if I’ve got this straight.” She begins ticking off points on her fingertips as she speaks. “You finally take my advice and go out with another man. Then, like clockwork, Knox shows up at your house. He tells you not to see said man anymore in that scary, intense way of his. And then you kick his butt to the curb. Right?”
I nod.
“If I wasn’t such a good friend, this is the part where I’d screamI TOLD YOU SOat the top of my lungs.”