“I wasn’t trying to hide it,” I promise. “Actually, when she first invited me, it was before Maurice and before us.”
“But that doesn’t change the fact that we agreed you’d be open and honest about Maurice-related stuff,” she argues, glancing at me.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before now, and I’m sorry to spring it on you like this.”
“So, if I wasn’t driving you to the skate show, when would you have told me?” she asks.
We pull up to a red light, so she can stare at me, eyes wide, as she waits for an answer.
I don’t know.I hadn’t thought about it. Maybe I was even trying not to think about it. But I wasn’t consciously trying to hide it from her…
“I didn’t think it was that big of a deal. Now that I’m out to Kristen, I figure that changes everything as far as Maurice is concerned. Plus, it’s a public show. It’s not like Maurice and I are going to be alone together.”
“Right,” Hannah says, her inflection jumping. She cocks herhead to the side and squints her eyes, focused on the road now that we’re moving again. “So, since this skate show is an event that’s open to the public, that means I can come.”
My heart leaps, but not in the romantic, fun way. It leaps like it wants out of my chest entirely.
“Hannah…”
We begin our descent down the gentle hill that crosses from the Stow border into Hudson. Halfway down this hill is a traffic light, and once we turn left, we will be on the side street that snakes through the entirety of Veterans Way Park. Essentially, once we turn left, we will be there, just a couple of bends in the road away from the skate park.
“Turn in here,” I say, pointing at the Starbucks on the opposite side of the intersection from the side street.
“But the park is there,” Hannah says, slowing down as we near the light.
“But I—uh—want some coffee,” I say.
Hannah reluctantly turns right instead of left, and we pull into the Starbucks parking lot.
When she cuts the car off, I say, “You don’t have to come in with me. I’m just gonna get some coffee, and I can walk the rest of the way.”
“Oh no, it’s okay,” she says, her voice light and fake. “I want some coffee too, and since we will both get coffee and both be leaving at the same time, I can drive you the rest of the way and stay for the show.”
“You’re doing this on purpose,” I mumble.
“What? Getting upset that my girlfriend conveniently didn’t tell me she had a date with her beard? A date that I got roped into bringing her to? I’d say my reaction is more natural than ‘on purpose.’?” The humor has drained from her voice.
“I’m sorry—”
“I don’t like this,” she says, a weight of finality in her tone. “I don’t like the Maurice plan anymore.”
“We can’t—”
“Wecanthough, Clarity,” Hannah insists, turning to face me as best she can in her seat. She reaches for my hand, weaving our fingers together. “We can date in secret without Maurice. You can still be in the closet—no one will know. But at least I won’t have to think of you out on dates withhim.”
I remember what Kristen told Vincent that day at the field hockey game, about me becoming a field hockey groupie. Whether or not she was being serious, the only thing that stopped her and will stop anyone else from making an accusation that’s more on the nose is Maurice. Today could be a big win for us, enough momentum for us to spend more time together at school without me having to be nervous about what people will think.
We still need Maurice. At least, I do.
“Hannah, I’m not ready. The plan is working.”
“Clarity, if you just see—”
“No.”
“Why?”
“If people see us together so much, they could start to guess—”