“Christ,” I gasp just as she squeaks, both of us jumping at the sound of the doorbell. When I suck in a breath, I’m surprised to find air. It felt like there was none just seconds ago.
“Girls, pizza!” her mom calls as she emerges from her bedroom to get the door.
“Be there in a second!” Kristen shouts back, standing up. She doesn’t let go of my hand and pulls me down the hallway. I tripinto her room, but she catches me, our hands still connected, and pulls me around to face her just as her door latches closed behind her.
“You’re gay?” she whispers. “You like girls?”
I nod, my throat closing like I’m allergic to this conversation.
Kristen yanks me into a hug. “Oh my God, Clarity,” she says, her voice muffled against my shoulder. “I had no idea. I can’t believe you didn’t tell me.”
I stiffen. A hug is a good sign, but everything—every sensation, thought, and feeling—is foreign. I can’t tell if I feel good or bad yet.
“You… you’re not mad?”
Kristen pulls back, her hands braced on my shoulders and her eyes full of something I can’t place. “Why would I be mad? You’re my best friend. And you’re gay. That’s… that’s fine! Why would I care about that?”
Because so many other people do.
The response dies in my throat, and I just look at her. Big blue eyes, her hair falling out of a messy bun that’s undoubtedly full of knots, her lopsided smile. I dropped the bomb and she’s still Kristen, my Kristen.
“Does anyone else know?” she asks, her voice quieter. “Have you told anyone?”
I shake my head. “No.” But the word feels wrong. “Actually… one person knows.”
Kristen’s mouth falls open and she raises her eyebrows, her expression slipping into playful disbelief. “Wait, wait—oneperson? You told someone else beforeme? Yourbest friend?”
I can’t help the small laugh that escapes me, though my chest is still tight. “Yeah, I did.”
“Who?” she asks, the grin on her face easing away some of my fear. “Who could you have possibly told before me?”
I bite my lip, glancing down to steel my nerves. When I look back up at her, I’m excited to tell her the truth. “Hannah Fitzpatrick.”
Kristen’s smile falters. “Hannah?”
“She’s… my girlfriend.”
Her eyes widen in shock. “Wait—Hannah? CopresidentHannahis yourgirlfriend?”
I nod, my cheeks warming as I say the words out loud. “Yeah. We’ve kind of been together for… a little while.”
Kristen shrieks and immediately slaps her hand over her mouth. “Oh my God,” she whisper-shrieks. “Clarity, that’s amazing. You and Hannah.”
Her words break through the tightness in my chest. Hannah and I, us togetherisamazing. And the fact that Kristen thinks so, that she’s not looking at me with any kind of disdain or disgust, means so much to me.
“Wait,” she says, her voice shifting. “Oh no. I’ve been such a jerk to her, haven’t I?”
I blink, catching up with her quick pivot. “What?”
Kristen groans and slinks over to her bed. I sit down next to her as she drops her head into her hands.
“I’ve been so mean, making fun of the team—theteam!” Krislooks at me, her eyes wide again. “She got the team to save the committeebecauseshe’s a great girlfriend. Not because she was trying to take over.Ohmygosh.” She palms her forehead with the realization.
“Kris, it’s okay,” I try to assure her. “She knows you didn’t mean it, that you didn’t know.”
“Still, I feel awful. I’ve been pushing you toward Maurice this whole time, and you were already with someone. Why didn’t you just tell me?”
I sigh as the weight of her question hits me hard. “I wasn’t sure how you’d react.”