I probably should’ve held that last bit back, but I can’t help it. This feeling I have for her is too strong not to name.
Her body tightens around me; her breath comes out in short pants. I keep my pace, moving my hand between us so I can play with her clit. “That’s it,” I murmur, kissing the corner of her mouth. “Let go for me.”
She does, and she clenches around me, pulling me under with her. I stay with her through all of it, then I let go too, whispering her name.
For a second, we stay there. Me on top of her, breathing each other in. I lean in to kiss her before I pull out carefully.
After taking care of the condom in the bathroom, I get back into bed. She slides under my arm and rests her cheek on mychest. My hand makes lazy circles on her back as we stare up into the darkness.
Her breathing slows, and right before she falls asleep, I ask, “How do you feel?”
“A little sore,” she says with a quick, embarrassed laugh. “But happy.”
“Good.” I kiss her forehead. “Because I’m fucking euphoric.”
I feel her lift her chin, and in the little light seeping into the room, I can see her studying me for a second, like she’s checking I meant it. It feels like she’s about to say something, but then she stops herself, and rests her head back on my chest.
I pull her closer and breathe her in. Shampoo. Skin. The hint of Ella’s bubble bath. I used to be the guy who ran away from anything that felt real. Now, I’d burn the world down before I let it go.
We don’t say anything else. We don’t have to.
She falls asleep with her hand open on my chest, and I lie there. I count her breaths until mine line up with hers.
In the dark, I make a promise to myself: I’m going to be the person to give her everything she wants and needs. Not because I owe it. Because I want to—because she deserves it.
I close my eyes, holding her there, and for once, everything feels like it’s exactly the way it should be.
Chapter 20
I wake up to a high-pitched squeal.
“Ella!” I shout, bolting out of bed and heading straight for the door.
“Are you—” With my hand on the knob, I pause, letting my heartbeat slow down just enough for my brain to think.
I hear her again, only this time she’s giggling.
“She’s okay,” I whisper to myself.
Then I hear a deeper laugh, one that definitely isn’t Zach’s.
It’s Jamie’s.
I smile absentmindedly before looking over my shoulder and checking the bed.
He’s not here. He’s downstairs, with her.
I drop my head to the wood and close my eyes, trying to get used to the idea that someone other than me can look after her. I’m not alone anymore, but my body is still finding it hard to accept that.
Turning against the door, I rest my back on it, checking the time.
9:17am.
I haven’t slept in this late in years, but I needed it. My body is aching and although I had eight hours of sleep, I feel wrecked.
I’m sore in the absolute best way. My legs are still wobbling from just standing up straight, and I have to take my time as I walk back into the room to find one of myNorth Central Highsweatshirts because I’m still feeling a little light-headed. Even putting on my leggings is a challenge. One that I have to give up on and sit down to complete.
Jamie’s deep voice rumbles from below, and I close my eyes, letting the sound of his voice wash over me.