“I should go,” Jamie says finally, grabbing his jacket from the back of the chair. “It's late.”
“Yeah.” I wrap my arms tighter around myself. “Thank you for tonight. For the story, for the studying, for… everything.”
He pauses at the doorway, looking back at me with those whiskey eyes that have caused me nothing but trouble. “I meant what I said, Tiff. About Ella. About being here. That's not going away, even if…”
“I know.” And I do. I can see it in every line of his body, in the way his voice breaks around her name.
“Goodnight, Tiff.”
“Goodnight, Jamie.”
I listen to his footsteps fade down the hallway, hear the front door open and close. Only then do I let myself sink back into the chair, my fingers touching my lips.
I did the right thing.
So why does it feel like I just made the biggest mistake of my life?
Chapter 14
“And how many bedrooms are you looking for?” The realtor asks through the phone as I pace the perimeter of my hotel room. After spending two weeks in this overpriced coffin, the walls are starting to cave in on me.
“Two. Minimum.” I stop at the window, pressing my palm to the cold glass. Outside, the parking lot is empty—nothing going in or out. Kind of like my bank accounts since my father froze them. Thank God I paid the tuition before he could cut me off. Call it what you want—blood money, hush money—I call it payment. Compensation for the years he stole from me. Three years I should’ve had with my daughter… and potentially fucking up any chance I have with her mother.
“Three is the ideal,” I add, even though we both know it’s a fantasy on the budget I have.
“Three?” her voice tilts upwards, confused. “Two was already bumping you into a higher bracket than you were hoping, and if you want to be anywhere near campus, that might be impossible.”
Tell me something I don’t know. Fucking hell, this is why my father paid the big bucks for other people to sort this shit out for him. Actually, having to figure things out, togrind,is a foreign concept to me.
“Sure,” I say, resigned to the fact that this is my life now. If I want to get away from my father—and I sure as hell want to—then I’m going to have to keep moving in this trajectory. “Two is fine, just make sure the second one’s big enough for one of those big tower beds.”
Silence. It’s not long, but long enough to make it awkward. I haven’t mentioned I’m a father, so she’s probably wondering what kind of kinky shit I’m into.
Unless giving up everything is a kink, then I’m pretty damn vanilla these days.
“Well…” she trails off and I can hear her keys tapping on the other end.
I close my eyes, sighing. All I want is a room painted in baby blue with glow-in-the-dark stars on the ceiling, and a fucking castle bed for Ella if Tiff ever trusts me enough to let her stay overnight. Is that so much to ask for?
On my budget—yes. Yes, it is.
“Ah, I see we do have a two-bedroom on Maple Street. It's about a fifteen-minute walk to campus, not in the best condition, but the price is right.”
“How much?”
She names a figure that makes me wince. It's a third of what I used to spend on a weekend in Vegas, but now it represents nearly half of my dwindling savings per month.
“I'd like to see it,” I say anyway, because beggars, or in my case, disowned trust fund kids, can't be choosers.
“Great. How's tomorrow at ten?”
“Perfect.”
I hang up and drop onto the edge of the hotel bed, the springs protesting beneath me. My laptop is open to a job listings page for St. Michael's campus and the surrounding area.
Barista. Delivery driver. Library assistant. Retail associate.
Jobs I've never considered before, jobs I used to look past without a second thought. Now they represent my lifeline, my only shot at staying in Hope long enough to become part of Ella's life.