This should feel good, but then why can’t I shake the nausea rising up my throat? Maybe it’s because I’ve spent years convincing myself he couldn’t be this man—that he wouldn’t want to be—and now he’s here, actually showing up, it feels like the ground might split beneath me.
It’s only been one day. Don’t get ahead of yourself.
Anyone can handle Ella for half a day, but the meltdowns, the sleepless nights, the endless patience it takes… that part he hasn’t seen yet, and when he does… will he still stay? Or will he decide we were never worth losing everything for in the first place?
I sigh, leaning back in the chair at the kitchen table. None of these thoughts are going to help me pass my GED anytime soon, and worrying about something that hasn’t happened yet is pointless. So I let them have this moment because they deserve it.
Placing the baby monitor to the side, I force myself to focus on the last chapter of my book. I’m halfway through solving for x when I hear soft footsteps behind me, only to find Jamie standing in the kitchen doorway. His hair is mussed, and his eyes are a little sleepy but still sparkling.
“She’s out,” he says, his voice rough with sleep. “Barely made it to the end of the story.”
I nod, fiddling with my pen to give me something to do besides stare at him. I swear it doesn’t matter how often he’s around, I’ll always find it hard to look at him without blushing. He’s just so hot without even trying. “She does that when she’s comfortable. It’s like her little body finally lets go.”
Jamie smiles softly. “She’s everything,” he says in awe.
“She is.”
“I mean it,” he says. “She’s… so full of life. Curious and stubborn and funny. She’s got this little spark. You can feel it.”
“She’s also got peanut butter in her hair half the time and refuses to wear socks that match,” I say.
“That too,” he says with a low laugh. “But I’m serious, Tiff. She’s amazing, and it’s all because of you.”
I draw in a breath, caught off guard.
“You didn’t just keep her fed and safe,” he says. “You gave her joy, and security. You’ve helped her blossom into this beautiful little girl who has no clue what it means to be unwanted or unloved. She’s perfect, and I—I don’t know how you did it, but it’s kind of blowing my mind.”
My throat tightens. I set the pen down, suddenly unsure what to do with my hands. “I just did what anyone would do.”
“No.” He leans forward slightly, his voice soft. “You didn’t give up. Not for one second. You built a beautiful life for yourself and your daughter out of sheer willpower.”
“I wouldn’t go that far.”
“Don’t sell yourself short. You’re a good mom, Tiff. A damn good one.” I swallow hard, blinking down at the pages of my book. “And I’m so grateful that Ella’s had you this entire time.”
“Thank you,” I say finally, my voice barely above a whisper. “But I can’t take all the credit. Without Zach, his parents, and my cousin, Madison, we wouldn’t be here.”
Jamie walks further into the room, leaning against the counter, his mouth twisting into a smirk. “Yeah, well... The Scholarship Kid’s kind of impossible to compete with.” He glances at me, then turns away. “I’m just hoping it’s not too late to do better.”
I swallow, letting the words settle for a second.
The silence stretches between us until all I can hear is the soft hum of the fridge. I don’t know what to say to that. Zach hasbeen more than a cousin to me. He’s been a brother, and I can’t minimize his impact on my life without crushing Jamie.
Jamie glances at the table, then walks over and slides into the seat across from me. “What are you working on?”
Hesitating, I say, “Studying for my GED.” I can feel my cheeks flushing, knowing how pathetic it must sound. Everyone else around me is finishing their college degrees, but I’m still lagging behind.
His brows lift slightly, but there’s no judgment—just quiet curiosity. “Seriously?”
“Yeah,” I mutter. “Didn’t finish high school. After my dad kicked me out in the middle of my junior year, I didn’t really have the time to keep up and graduate with everyone else. I’ve been chipping away at this for a while, but it’s slow.”
Jamie leans forward, placing his elbows on the table. “Can I help?”
I snort. “You want to help me study?”
“Yeah,” he says. “Come on. I’d love to.”
“I don’t need pity.”