My fingers twitch and I’m overcome with the need to comfort her in the same way I did when we were kids. I’d always take her hand to let her know she’s not alone. That our parents were both terrible and we’d get through this together.
Except I broke that promise.
I lost the privilege of comforting one of my best friends when I cheated on her with Tiff. The worst part about it is that I knew exactly what I was doing. I didn’t want to be partof the Sanderson/Nicks legacy anymore, so I made that future impossible for either of us to attain.
I don’t regret it. Honey was never mine, and it was never meant to be my place to comfort her.
As much as I hate to admit it, she was always supposed to be with a guy like Zach. He’d fight for her and prove that he’s worthy of being with her.
Speaking of, where is he?
Shouldn’t he be here comforting her?
Maybe he’s the reason she’s upset. Nah, he’s too obsessed with her to ever hurt her.
I bet he’s on his way now to help. The man loves to clean up a mess. He raised my daughter while I was failing out of JV and cheating my way through high school. He has every right to kick my ass on sight, and knowing him, he probably will.
So reluctantly, I turn away from Honey and her tears—another person I've failed, another relationship I've destroyed—and head into the building, hoping that I’m finally doing something right in my life.
Chapter 8
“I’m just saying,” Madison’s voice cracks through my phone, “Reese sounds like a catch. He’s hot, loves kids, and is one of the best wide receivers in the conference according to Zach.”
“I know, I know,” I interrupt, pushing Ella’s stroller along the tree-lined path that cuts through campus while she naps for the first time in three weeks. “Zach’s already given me the full scouting report, and a play-by-play of everything good Reese has ever done.”
“Then what’s the problem?” Madison’s tone shifts from teasing to genuinely curious.
What’s the problem? My baby daddy came to my house, left a letter for me, and I’ve been low-key spiraling ever since because I’m too chickenshit to tell anyone—even Madison.
When she doesn’t get a response from me, she sighs dramatically. “Look, I love you, but you need to get back out there. Reese is perfect. He already knows about Ella, he clearly adores her, and Zach vouches for him. Plus, from what I hear, NFL scouts want to draft him and Zach together. The guy has a future, and a plan.”
“Great, so he’ll be gone next year like Zach, too, then,” I mutter.
“Or he’ll ask you to go with him. Maybe he’ll even take you to some exotic locations… you might even be happy for once.”
“Damn, you get dicked down by your brother’s best friend and all of a sudden you’re a relationship guru?”
Madison laughs, unbothered. “Please. I’ve seen the light, and it’s six-foot-six with a grumpy attitude but a stupidly hot smile. You’d be surprised what a good orgasm does for you.”
“I don’t know, Mads. It’s complicated.”
I stop for a second to check on Ella, who’s still fast asleep.
“I hate to say it, T, but everything is complicated with you,” she says. “Which I get, I really do. I mean, shit, I don’t think I could’ve survived being kicked out by my father and raising a kid all on my own, but I love you, and sometimes I need to tell you the hard truth. You can’t keep using Ella as an excuse to never live your own life. She needs a happy mom, not a martyr.”
The words sting because they’re true. Zach said basically the same thing to me the other day, and now Madison’s piling on. When did everyone decide to coordinate their intervention?
Apparently, when Jamie also decided to show up in my life.
“I’m happy,” I protest weakly.
“Bullshit. You’recontent.There’s a difference.” Madison pauses. “Wait, did I just hear birds? Are you outside?”
“Yeah, we’re meeting Zach for lunch on campus, and I thought I’d leave early so Ella could have a nap.”
“Okay, well, think about what I said about Reese. At least let him take you to dinner or something. What's the worst that could happen?”
I could fall for someone who isn't my daughter's father, I think but don't say. I could build something real and then have it all ripped away when Jamie decides he wants to play dad after all.