“Okay,” I say quietly, and the weight of all the unspoken words hangs between us. All the things I want to ask but know I don’t have the right to.What really happened between you and Honey? Why are you isolating yourself? Why won’t you just admit it’s over?
I clear my throat. “Speaking of Jamie—” I begin cautiously.
Zach's fork clatters against his container. “What about him?”
I take a deep breath. “What do you really think of him? Honestly?”
Zach gives a humorless laugh. “Honestly? The only good thing about Jamie Nicks is Ella. And that's only because she got your genes, not his.” He shakes his head. “He's a rich boy who always gets what he wants. He treated Honey like garbage. Actually, he treatedeveryonelike garbage. And the way he's treated my family?” His jaw tightens. “That's not something I'm going to tolerate, Tiff. Not then, not now, not ever.”
I nod, taking in his words and hoping my expression doesn’t reveal anything.
“Why are you asking about him anyway?” Zach’s eyes narrow suspiciously.
“Uh, you know, I was just looking at the legal papers and thinking about what I should do.”
“What you should do is sign the papers, get the money,andgetthat asshole out of both of your lives before he can ruin it with his toxic excuse of a family. He doesn’t deserve any chance with Ella.”
I swallow, not knowing what to do. He’s right. I know he is after everything Jamie’s family has put me through, but that doesn’t mean the knot in my stomach stops twisting.
“But if I do that, what will I tell Ella when she asks in the future?”
“The truth. He doesn’t deserve you hiding what he did. Sure, he’s got more money than sense, but you’ve got something they can never have. Dignity and strength.”
I nod. Dignity and strength? Would he think that if he found out I’m lying to him?
Zach’s expression softens. “I’m sorry. I’m coming in hot tonight. Even if you accept the terms and the money, you’ll have a while to think about what you need to say to her. She’s not going to ask who Jamie is anytime soon.”
It could be sooner than you think.
I bite my bottom lip, keeping that thought to myself, and instead, change the subject. “You doing anything tonight?”
“Watching tape,” he answers. I should’ve known. Heaven forbid he watch a comedy, or go to Hail Mary’s with his team. Everything for my cousin these days is football, football, football.
When he clearly reads my expression, his shoulders slump. “The draft is in four months. I just need to focus on that right now. Everything else is—” He waves his hand dismissively. “Noise.”
“I get it.”
I do. Zach is one of the most determined and focused guys I’ve ever met. I just wish he’d give himself a day or two to relax once in a while. Honey used to help him with that, but since she left, he’s been slowly winding himself up tight.
“Well, since you’re busy, I’ll probably head to bed.”
“Why?” He reaches into his bag beside the table and pulls out a stack of colorful paper. “When you have all these options available to you.”
It’s only when I get close enough that I realize they’re flyers for various activities at St. Michael’s. Dance classes, art workshops, fitness programs.
“I went through and found all the classes that are open to non-students and in the evening. They have beginner classes in salsa tonight. I bet Reese will be free if you ask him.”
I flip through the brochures, stopping at the picture of the lady in the bright red dress with her arm in the air and her partner staring her down. It’s utterly lustful and almost laughable that Zach is suggesting it.
But then I look at his hopeful face and I’m touched by his thoughtfulness despite everything else on his mind. “This is really sweet, Zach. Thank you, but I can’t go tonight if that’s what you’re suggesting.”
He shrugs. “Suit yourself, but I’m here. Ella’s asleep, so you can go. If not today, then next week.”
“I’ll think about it.” But will I? Probably not. “I guess I’ll head to bed,” I say, reaching out to squeeze his shoulder. “Don’t stay up too late.”
“Yes, mom,” he says, the corner of his mouth twitching up for a second before falling back into that grim line. “Love you, cuz.”
“Love you, too.” I head toward my room, pausing at the doorway. “Zach?”