I mean nothing, and it doesn’t even matter that I know. He’ll still force me to live a life that isn’t mine. In a few weeks, I’ll be starting my junior year at South Point Prep, following the path laid out for me by people who've been lying to me my entire life.
I wasn’t supposed to find out. Not like this. Not ever. But now that I know, how am I supposed to go back and pretend everything’s fine?
People are still downstairs, and there’s another buzz from my phone. I really should get back to the reality of my life, but before I do, I allow myself one more moment to remember her—the girl who saw me, really saw me, on the night everything changed. The girl who slipped away before I could even say goodbye.
Tiff. Just Tiff. No last name. No way to find her.
Another ghost in a life suddenly haunted by questions without answers.
When I finally muster the strength to get out of bed, I put on my clothes and head back to the hallway, surprised that the party is still going on.
It’s 9 a.m. Don’t they have something better to do?
I push through the crowd, ignoring the laughter and endless posturing of people I’ve known my entire life who suddenly feel like strangers.
“Jamie!” McKenna appears from nowhere, latching onto my arm like a barnacle. Her perfume is too strong and makes my head hurt. “I've been looking everywhere for you.”
“Not now,” I mutter, extracting myself from her grip.
Her face falls. “What's wrong? Did something happen with Honey?”
The mock concern in her voice only irritates me.
Honey is too fucking good for this world, and she’s too fucking good to be messing around with an idiot like me.
“Nothing happened,” I hiss. “I just need some space.”
“Call me when you decide ‘asshole’ is no longer your personality trait,” she snaps.
I don't bother to respond. She's right, but I don't have the energy to care. I push past her, ignoring the hurt look on her face, and make my way downstairs. I need air. I need quiet. I need something to make me feel real again.
I doubt I’ll find that, though, since she left me before I woke up.
Chapter 5
Present Day
Father:Don’t test me, son. If you go against me, I’ll make sure there’s nothing left for you.
Istare at my father’s text and take a sip of my coffee; his threat barely registering at this point. It’s not like I haven’t heard it all before.
Push me again and I’ll show you what happens.
Fail me now and I’ll make sure failure follows you forward.
If you force my hand, I won’t hesitate to finish what you started.
Every day it’s another tired threat from a man who confuses control for love. He doesn’t love me. He loves what I do for him,and that’s the part that hurts me the most since I’ve spent most of my life trying to become his carbon copy.
What a waste of time that was. As if I could ever live up to him.
I put the coffee down on the red checkered tablecloth of the most aggressively wholesome diner I’ve ever stepped foot in. It feels like someone's nostalgic wet dream of small-town America, and my usual idea of hell, but I’m here and I have no intention of leaving.
Another text comes through with my father’s name.
Ignore.
It’s been a week since I got here, and for seven whole days I’ve been ignoring him. His texts, his calls—everything, and it’s fucking liberating. Pathetic, really since it’s one of the only acts of rebellion I’ve ever done.