I frown. “It’s not like that.”
Madison snorts. “It’s exactly like that. You push people away before they can leave. Except for Zach. He’s got white knight syndrome so bad he’d probably try to save the Titanic with a bucket.”
“What if I'm not enough?” I ask so quietly, I’m not sure if she hears it. “What if Ella's not enough? What if he wakes up one day and realizes he gave up everything for a life that's just… ordinary?”
“Tiff.” Madison's voice is soft but insistent. “I get it. After what you’ve been through, it makes sense you’d be worried, but from what you've told me, but it sounds to me like ordinary is exactly what he wants. He grew up with everything money could buy, but none of it made him happy. You and Ella? You're not his consolation prize. When he finally got to make a choice for himself, he chose you.”
I swallow hard against the lump forming in my throat. “When did you get so wise?”
“Oh, I’ve always been this wise. You just never listened before.” She smirks. “But seriously, T—you need to be honest with him about how you’re feeling. Preferably when you’re both conscious and wearing pants. He deserves to know where your head is at.”
“You’re right. I’ll do it. I’ll speak to him.”
“Good,” Madison says softly. “You know, I’m really happy for you. You’ve been through so much, and you deserve this bliss. All of it. Even the kind that ruins your mascara and your back alignment.”
I laugh, because of course she’d end on something like that. “You’re the worst,” I say, even though my throat feels tight.
I do deserve happiness, but I won’t be able to feel it until I’ve told Jamie the truth.
That’s when I make a vow to myself that I will talk to him tonight.
Chapter 23
“Do you think she’s having fun?” Jamie asks, his hand warm on the small of my back. Ella’s fingers are tight in mine as we weave through the crowd, looking for whatever catches her eye next.
When she stops to take in the stands, I lean back and murmur, “I think she’s having the time of her life.” The movement brings me closer to him than I mean to, and my head is virtually against his shoulder.
Not that he seems to mind.
When I tip my chin up, he’s already watching me with a smile.
My gaze drops to his mouth, and he’s close enough to kiss.
God, do I want to kiss him again.
I feel his fingers flex against my back as he leans in, my breath catching as the space between us disappears.
My stomach bottoms out, my lips tingle at the mere thought, and something burns in my chest.
Kiss me. Please, kiss me.
“Can we do the bumper cars?” Ella asks, taking us out of the moment.
Jamie pulls away, acting completely unfazed by the move as he kneels next to her. “Sure.”
Ella’s smile grows. “Can I go with you?” she asks, leaning into him, holding out her arms. Jamie gladly accepts the hug and takes the opportunity to scoop her up and settle her on his hip.
My heart does that stupid flutter thing again. It happens every time I watch them together and realize this is real. Somehow, we’re here, standing in the middle of it.
The three of us.
“I can go on my own,” I say, gesturing to the ride.
Jamie pokes Ella’s nose. “What do you say, princess? Think we can take down your mom?”
Ella giggles, wrapping her arms around his neck. “We’re gonna win!”
“Oh, it’s like that, is it?” I raise an eyebrow, already heading toward the ticket booth. “You two against me?”