“No. Not exactly.” I glance down at my water bottle, twisting the cap. “We’re just figuring things out. He wants me to move in with him, but I’m not sure I’m ready for that level of commitment. Everything around here is clouded by Zach.” I scrunch my nose, feeling like I’m not articulating myself well. “I just want something that’s just mine, you know?”
“Oh,” Jenni says slowly. “And do you have any ideas what might give you more ownership?”
“I’ve been offered an internship,” I blurt. “At a law firm which would count toward my credits this year.”
Jenni perks up instantly. “Oh, my goodness! That’s incredible. People would kill for an opportunity like that.”
“Mhm.”
Maybe they would. Maybe they’d deserve it more than me too. I don’t deserve it. I don’t know if I even want it, but here I am contemplating selling a piece of myself just to protect the people I love.
Zach would do it without thinking, and yet, here I am, still contemplating it over a week later.
“Why does it sound like a problem?”
“Because it’s complicated.” I glance down at my hands, feeling useless again. “It’s not just about the job. It’s all the implications that come with it.”
“Wait.” Her eyes narrow slightly, her lips twisting into a thoughtful frown. “Does this mean you’re… transferring?”
“What?” I blink. “No.”
“I mean, it would make sense,” she says with a little shrug. “Big job offer, some drama with Zach, maybe needing a clean break—”
“I’m not transferring,” I say firmly, and maybe sharper than I mean to. “The job’s a good opportunity, I just haven’t figured out if it’s the right thingfor me, you know?”
“I get that, but it kind of sounds like you’re dismissing it before even trying?”
“It’s just Zach—”
Jenni raises her hand. “Whoa, wait. Are you seriously going to tell me thatZachdoesn’t want you to do it? That he’s not supporting you?” She pauses and stares me down. “The guy who has had one of the biggest opportunities dropped in his lap, and he can’t be happy for you.”
“It’s not—”
I stop myself from divulging any more details of my personal life. This is why I should’ve talked to Olivia. She knows Zach. She understands our dynamic.
“Okay, look, I’m sorry. I don’t know your boyfriend or your relationship. I overstepped, but I’m just saying, if someone’s offering you a position that could help you build your own future? That’s worth considering. Don’t overthink it. Try it out, and if it sucks, quit.” She shrugs like it’s not a big deal. “At least then you can say you’ve tried.”
I nod, biting my bottom lip. She has a point, although she doesn’t know my father and how difficult he’d make it for me to get out of a five-year contract, but does that matter to me? Five of my years for Tiff and Ella to be free sounds like a pretty good deal.
“I’ll think about it,” I say, knowing I don’t have long to make my decision since my father has already called me three times this morning.
“Good.”
“I, uh, should probably get going.” I get my things together, somehow feeling worse than before. So much for talking things out.
“Same,” Jenni drawls out. “Chris is done with practice in an hour. We’re meeting at that cat café off campus. You should come if you’re around. Get a drink. Pet a sad rescue tabby. Escape your existential crisis.”
My phone buzzes.
I don’t look. I already know who it is. My father.
“I can't today,” I murmur. “I really need to speak to someone at the firm about the job.”
Jenni arches a brow, lips twitching like she’s trying not to smirk. “Look at you being all responsible and grown-up. You’re acting so adult it almost makes me nauseous,” she teases, but there's something in her tone I can't quite read. “Rain check then?”
“Definitely.”
“Alright, well, I’ve got to go, but good luck, friend. I hope you figure things out.”