“Finally,” Tiff exhales, then turns in her seat to look at me full-on. “Okay. Now talk. Where’s Honey.”
I keep my eyes on the road. “I don't know.”
“You don't know.”
“I think she’s at work, but she’s not answering my texts.”
“What happened?”
I swallow hard, still staring at the white lines on the highway. “I asked her to marry me last night.”
“What? Why would you do that?”
“Because I love her… and I’m an idiot.” My hands tighten on the wheel. “Everything's been falling apart. Her best friend—” I stop myself.
“Olivia? What did she do?”
“Not her. Olivia’s fine. She’s flying in with Mike tomorrow.”
It’s the only semblance of hope I have. Maybe, just maybe Olivia will be able to talk some sense into her. “It’s another girl, but It doesn't matter. The point is, I thought if I showed her how serious I was about us, she'd see that we could get through anything, but I just made it worse.”
Tiff goes quiet, and I can feel her trying to piece together what I'm not saying. After a moment, she speaks carefully. “Did something happen between you and this other girl?”
I turn and look at Tiff with shock. “No. Nothing ever happened.” It’s not her fault she thinks that. I haven’t given her the full context. “It's complicated, but honestly? It doesn't even matter now.” I glance at her briefly. “The damage was already done. This girl just... exposed it.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means Honey's been trying to figure out who she is for months, and everyone keeps telling her she's not good enough. Her dad, random people at games, this girl—” I stop myself before I say too much about Jenni. “And me. I've been so busy trying to convince her she's perfect that I didn't realize I was just adding to the noise. She can't hear herself think.”
She reaches over and rests her hand on my knee. “I’m sorry, Zach. It sounds like your both really going through it, but Honey has always loved you. I think she just needs some time to come around.”
“No. It’s not that simple. You didn't see her face, Tiff. She looked... hollow. Like there was nothing left.”
“Because she's exhausted from trying to be everything for everyone.” Tiff shifts in her seat. “That doesn't mean she doesn't love you. It means she needs to love herself first.”
“I know that. I do but knowing it doesn't make it hurt less.”
We drive in silence for a few minutes, and I'm grateful Tiff doesn't try to fill it with empty reassurances. She's always been good at knowing when I just need to sit in my own shit for a while.
“For what it's worth,” she says finally, “I think you did the right thing.”
I look at her like she's lost her mind. “How is proposing at the worst possible moment the right thing?”
“Not that part. That was clearly the worst decision you’ve ever made.” She gives me a small smile. “But letting her walk awaylast night instead of chasing after her? That took guts and is probably exactly what she needed.”
“Thanks, but it doesn’t feel good.”
“It never will.” Tiff looks back at Ella, then at me. “You can’t force someone to stay, Zach. All you can do is hope they figure it out and choose to come back.”
“What if she doesn't come back?” The question slips out before I can stop it.
Tiff doesn't answer right away. When she does, her voice is gentle. “Then you'll know you loved her enough to let her go.”
“Is that supposed to make me feel better?”
I love her too much to let her go. That's the problem. It's always been the problem.
We pull into the driveway, and I help Tiff get Ella out without waking her. As Tiff carries her inside, she pauses to look around and squeezes my arm. “Thank you for this, Zach. For all of it.”