I catch her shoulders, easing her back just enough to see her face. Her pupils are blown wide, but there’s something raw in them.
“Hey.” My voice is gentle even though my chest is going tight. “What’s going on in that beautiful head of yours?”
“Nothing.” Her laugh is paper-thin. “I just… needed to see you. Needed to make sure you still wanted me.”
That knocks the air out of my lungs.
Her smile falters as soon as it’s out there, and she looks away, chewing her bottom lip like she wishes she could take it all back.
That isn’t the alcohol talking. That’s her real fear. Small and sharp, twisting just under her skin.
“Baby,” I say, brushing my thumb across her cheekbone, “you have me. Always will.”
Her gaze flicks to mine. It’s dark and desperate.
“Then show me,” she whispers with a hint of frustration in her voice.
And before I can answer, she peels her sweater over her head in one fluid motion, revealing a black sports bra. She reaches for the button of her jeans, but I catch her hands.
“I want to feel something. Anything.”
The words cut through me.
I want to feel something.
As if she’s been numb… as if this isn’t about love or trust, or even lust. It’s abouttrying.
Her trying not to fall apart.
I want to ask her what she means, and what the hell happened tonight that made her show up like this, but she’s already on her feet, shimmying out of her jeans.
She’s fucking beautiful. Always is, but it’s not her body that hits me like a freight train.
It’s her eyes.
Wrecked. Wide and shiny.
“Honey—” I start, but she cuts me off.
“Please,” she says, her voice cracking as she pushes me back onto the bed and climbs onto my lap in one smooth motion. “Please just give me this.”
Her lips find mine again, hungry and insistent, and I let myself get lost in it for a moment, but when her hands move to push down my boxers, I catch them again.
“Wait,” I say, more firmly this time. “Let's talk about what's going on first.”
“I told you, I don’t want to talk. I just want us.”
“I can’t give youusuntil we do.”
She sits back, still straddling me, frustration evident in the set of her jaw. Her eyes search mine and she shakes her head before biting down on her bottom lip. I don’t know what the hell happened since she texted me this afternoon, but I wish I could just open her head up to find out.
“You really want to talk about it? The elephant in the room?”
“Which is?”
Her eyes flash with something before darkening.
“If we talk,” she whispers. “You’ll see it.”