So, we lay there for a while. Heartbeats and breathing slowly returning to normal, the sheen of sweat we share drying, and still, he doesn’t say anything.
Crap.
Did I do something wrong? I know it was good for him so why is he so quiet? I’m not going to play games, though, so I gently nudge him.
“Hey. You alive up there?”
“Barely,” he murmurs.
“Why won’t you look at me?”
That seems to snap him out of whatever haze he’s in and he lifts his head. “Sorry, angel. Just enjoying a little post-sex cuddle.”
“Liar.” I smile, watching his face. “You left me the minute it was over. I already know your body language, West. It wasn’t like that when we were fooling around at my place. Not even when you got me off a little bit ago. So, what happened and where did you go?”
He looks surprised and then shakes his head.
“I’m right here.” He drops his forehead to mine. “I might be a little overwhelmed at the intensity.”
Holy shit.
Raw, unfiltered vulnerability.
I honestly didn’t expect that from him. Not at this stage of our relationship, when everything is so casual.
“How come you’re single?” I ask after a moment. “And I’m not talking about the ex. That was just over a year ago. What about before that? You’re what, twenty-nine? That’s plenty old enough to have fallen in love, been in relationships.”
“I’ll be twenty-nine in August.” He seems thoughtful. “I guess I was always busy with hockey. I know that sounds like an excuse, but it’s legit. I watched a lot of my teammates get caught up in dating drama. Cheating. Getting girls pregnant. Pressure fromfamilies. And on the flip side, watching what happens sometimes when guys get married.”
“What happens?” I ask curiously.
“If the guy is popular, they tear her apart. Is she good enough for him? Pretty enough? Is she a distraction? He’s scored 1.46 percent less goals since they got married. Oh, is she already pregnant? It can be brutal. I decided not to go there. Not yet. Don’t get me wrong, I had a lot of fun with women. I was just super careful.”
“You don’t make dating you sound like a good time,” I deadpan, lifting my head.
He chuckles. “Oh, I think I showed you a pretty good time.”
“That you did.”
After a soft, sweet kiss, he pulls out and rolls to the side, taking me with him so I’m nestled in his arms. It’s chilly now that we’re not fooling around anymore, and I shiver in the semi-darkness.
“You cold, angel?”
“A little.”
“Get under the covers. I’ll be right back.” He gets up and pads into the bathroom leaving me to take in his glorious backside. He truly has a magnificent body. Broad shoulders, a chiseled ass, huge, muscular thighs, and the world’s flattest stomach. I can’t see it now, but I saw it when he pulled his shirt off and his six-pack is hard to forget. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a man with one so pronounced.
I’m under the covers when he comes back and he slides in beside me, immediately tugging me into his arms.
“Sorry you lost me there for a minute,” he says. “It’s been a while since sex was more than just…fucking.”
“Is that not what we did?”
“Yes and no. The physical part was fucking, but the mental part was…more.” He almost chokes on the last word and I don’t know how to respond.
“Do you want to end this now?” I ask quietly. “I won’t be mad. I’ll still pay you back for the car and can?—”
“Stop.” He shakes his head. “No. I don’t want to end this now, and seriously, I’m not trying to be a jerk, but a few thousand dollars is nothing to me. I won’t even notice it’s gone, even if you never pay back a dime.”