“Excellent.” She pours it into two waiting bowls and stirs them up. Then she hands one to me with a playful little bow. “Your breakfast, good sir.”
“Why, thank you, milady.” I incline my head graciously.
We laugh and she reaches into a cupboard. “Walnuts?”
“Sure.”
After embellishing instant oatmeal with walnuts and blueberries, we eat in companionable silence. Joey finishes his breakfast first and then gets down to go play. He pulls out the biggest toy dump truck I’ve ever seen and seems content to vroom vroom it around the living room.
“Does he entertain himself like this a lot?” I ask curiously.
“Not for long periods of time, but he’ll do it long enough for me to eat or clean up the kitchen, fold laundry, something like that. Then he’ll get bored and we’ll do a puzzle or color or whatever. He’s pretty easy-going.”
“My ex’s daughter was not,” I say with a laugh. “I mean, she was well-behaved, don’t get me wrong, but there were days where she never stopped talking.”
“It could also be a girl thing,” Serena says with a laugh. “Joey will talk up a storm sometimes if he’s excited, but then he’ll be more thoughtful too. And remember, it’s always been just the two of us. I think he’s used to our quiet little life.”
“I don’t have quiet,” I admit. And though I may not say it out loud, part of me realizes that was done by design. The louder and busier I kept myself, the less time I’d have to think about Briar.
Instead, I filled my home and my days with as much activity as possible, so there’s never a moment to slow down. Or miss her.
And I’ve been doing myself a bit of a disservice.
I enjoy my friends and roommates. I love hockey. Travel is usually fun. My career allows me to make a fuck ton of money and live a great life. One I haven’t really bothered to enjoy lately.
Maybe this is fate—and Mother Nature—showing me it’s time to slow down.
Forcing me to step back.
“Never?” Serena is asking.
“At night when I go to bed, I guess, but the rest of the time it’s go-go-go.”
She frowns. “I don’t think I could live like that. Short-term, sure. I go through busy times too. But then I need my solitude. A bookand a cup of tea. A movie I’ve been meaning to watch. Sitting at the park while Joey plays.”
That sounds wonderful.
When was the last time I sat down with a book? Months. Maybe longer.
“I guess my relaxation comes with cooking,” I say slowly. “Being in the kitchen is my happy place when I need to wind down. Chopping vegetables is soothing. Putting something in the oven that comes out amazing makes me feel good. I do like feeding people.”
“Same.” She smiles, nodding. “I love coming up with a new dish and trying it out on people.” She pauses. “These days, it’s usually Rudy and Gemma, or the ladies at school, but it’s still fun to see their faces and know I hit something good.”
“Could you get a job at a high-end restaurant?” I ask carefully. “I know why you work at the school, but wouldn’t the salary at a restaurant like that allow you to send him to private school?”
“It would,” she agrees. “The problem is the hours. I’d have to work nights and what would I do with him? A sitter every single night adds up fast and in the beginning, I wouldn’t have that kind of salary. It would be more than I’m making now but not full-time nanny and private school money.”
“I didn’t think of that.”
“When he’s older,” she says gently. “When I don’t have to worry about him being here alone, then I can think about that. Until then, I’m fine where I am.”
“What do you do for fun?” I ask casually.
She gets up and starts washing the dishes. “Fun is subjective. I have fun playing with Joey. I enjoy reading. In the summer, it’s fun to go roller skating in the park. I still have my skates and I can push Joey in his stroller really fast, which he loves. But those probably aren’t thingsyouthink are fun.”
I walk over with my bowl and now empty mug of tea, setting them on the counter. “That’s not true. Skating in a park sounds great.” I pick up a towel and start drying the dishes she washed. “I enjoy a nice dinner with friends. Good conversation, a bottle of wine, hanging out. I also enjoy the occasional rock concert. I go to baseball games. Once in a while, I take cooking classes, which is something I love.”
She nods. “I’d do that if I could afford it, but the ones I’d want to take are out of my price range.”