I don’t want to lie to her, but I also don’t want to ghost her.
“Hey,” I reply.
“Hi!” she says. “I was wondering if we have a plan for dinner tonight?”
“Oh.” God, this is hard.
She’s become a good friend, and now I’m going to make something up so she doesn’t notice that I’ve moved out of the house.
“I’m sorry,” I say contritely. “I made plans with Holly. I’m going to stay at my place for a few days. She needs the support.”
“Oh, okay. No problem.” She doesn’t sound mad. “You’re a good friend. Tell her I hope things start to turn around for her.”
Ugh.
Jayne is sonice.
Lying sucks.
But it’s better for her to not know what’s going on until West tells her. Then I might reach out to apologize for not telling her everything.
“I will.”
“Are you okay? You sound funny?”
“No, I’m fine. Just a little distracted. I’ve got a lot going on.”
“Well, duh. You’re going to be a star! I hope you remember us little people when you’re famous.” She giggles, but it makes me want to cry.
She’s probably going to think I’m ghosting her because I’m too good for her or something, and that’s the furthest thing from the truth.
“Absolutely not,” I say, fighting off another wave of emotion. “You’re stuck with me now. And believe me, being on TV isn’t all fun and games. I’ll be completely exhausted some nights, other days will be a lot of sitting around and waiting for my turn. The long days on set aren’t very glamorous.”
“Well, I still think it’s incredibly cool!” she gushes. “And I’m so proud of you. You’ve had such a hard time the last few years, but now you have your career back, a great guy, and awesome friends like me.”
I laugh even though I want to cry again. “Life can certainly be unexpected.”
“And I have a huge favor to ask.”
“Anything.”
“If there’s any chance that I could be an extra, just one day, I’d love you forever. It’s like a bucket list item. I don’t want to act, and the thought of memorizing lines terrifies me, but if I could be in the background of a scene? That would be the coolest thing ever.”
“That’s easy,” I say softly. “When the time comes, we’ll figure it out.”
“You are the best!”
If she only knew what a shitty friend I am right now.
“Okay, now I have to figure out dinner on my own,” she continues before I can respond. “Boo. You’ve spoiled me.”
“I’m sorry,” I whisper, more emotional than warranted, but she immediately back pedals.
“Oh, you know I’m kidding! It’s not a big deal. I’ll make pasta for Lindy and me. She loves it and it’s quick and easy. Bodi and the others will be home Friday and we’ll probably order out.” Shepauses. “Unless you plan to come back and cook?” she adds hopefully.
I squeeze my eyes shut, saying a mental apology. “I don’t know yet,” I hedge. “But I’ll let you know what happens. I have some meetings and stuff coming up.”
“Ah, yes, the busy movie star.” She laughs good-naturedly. “Okay, well, I’ll talk to you later.”