“Rambling,” I coughed into my hand, giving my friend a slight push on her shoulder.
She blushed more and stopped talking. “Yeah, it’s Tracey. Let’s go get that drink.”
They hurried away, and I listened to my friend blabber about everything under the sun as Reggie stole a few glances at her boobs. He was officially going to break Tracey’s heart.
Speaking of hearts, mine did an odd skipping thing the moment Landon entered the room.
I’d be lying if I said he didn’t look handsome. He’d grown up over the years from an annoying boy to an annoying man, and I’d watched it happen from a distance. I wished he would’ve lived a little longer in the awkward-teenager-with-braces phase of his life, but I hadn’t been that lucky. Now he had a perfect smile to go with his perfect blue eyes, messy brown hair, and built body. I swore he’d gone from skinny boy to the Incredible Hulk overnight. His muscles had muscles, and every time I looked at them, I’d feel my cheeks heat up.
His eyes locked with mine, and he gave me an intense stare, as if he were shocked to see me at his house.
Yes, Landon, I’m here, and you aren’t going to bully me out with your stupid looks.
He must’ve accepted that challenge because he wandered in my direction, red solo cup in hand and that same damn smirk on his lips.
I hated how he smiled at me. It always seemed so sinister.
I also hated that a small part of me was attracted to said smile. A part of me craved that smile. Sometimes, I’d study Landon from afar, wondering if his lips would curve up. Forthe most part, he lived with a constant grimace. If he were a Care Bear, he’d definitely be Grumpy Bear.
Landon eased over like the “too cool for school” person he was and stood near me. I hated when he stood so close. The hairs on my arms always stood straight up.
“Chick, I would say it’s good to see you, but I hate lying,” Landon commented, taking a sip from his cup. “I’m surprised you had the nerve to show up.”
“Trust me, this is the last place I want to be, but I had to be a good friend for Tracey.”
“You don’t have to make up lies to come to my house, Chick.”
“I have no need to lie to you, Satan,” I spat back. I hated when he called me Chick. He said it with so much attitude because he knew it drove me bonkers.
He got off on seeing my irritation, too, which was why I worked so hard to keep my emotions in check whenever I was around him. I didn’t want to give him any pleasure from my pain. Sure, perhaps my heart beat out of sync when I was near him, but he didn’t have to know that.
I cleared my throat. “If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go ahead and be anywhere but here.”
“Same,” he replied, and we went off in completely different directions.
4Landon
I shouldn’t have had a party.
It didn’t take long for regret to settle into my gut as people started swarming into the place, and I didn’t even recognize a lot of the faces coming through the door. A bunch of random people decided to crash because they heard there were drugs and booze and, if lucky, some boob and dick touching. Plus, half the people here had probably never even set foot in a mansion in their lives.
I’d thought having people around would make it easier to keep my mind off Lance, but the night was proving me wrong. Even though people surrounded me, my memories of the best man who’d ever been in my life continued to consume me.
Forty-five.
He would’ve been forty-five today.
“Are you sure you don’t want to call the cops on your own party, get all these people kicked out, and then play video games?” Greyson asked me as we leaned against the fireplace in the living room while dozens of people pushed through the space, making messes I didn’t give a damn about.
“Nah, it’s fine.” I shrugged, brushing my hand across the back of my neck. He gave me a smile, but it was that fake Greyson smile, the one where he was overthinking shit. I nudged him. “Loosen up, will you? Just get a drink in your system and chill.”
“Yeah, all right. I just know that today is—”
“All right, I’ll catch you later,” I cut him off because I knew what he was going to say, and I had no desire to discuss said topic. I patted my best friend on the back and hurried away, mainly because I didn’t want to deal with him questioning if I was OK every few seconds. I was fine, good as ever.
* * *
Later that night, like every night I had a party, I ended up in my bedroom. I sat in my room with Greyson and Hank and my pit bull named Ham. No one else was allowed in my bedroom, and if they stepped foot inside, I made sure to cuss them out and put the fear of Satan into their souls so they’d never come back. Greyson always called me Scrooge after I snapped, and he wasn’t wrong. I wasn’t polite about kicking them out of my room, but the last thing I needed in my life was some drunk couple screwing on my Italian sheets.