“Why do you always do that?” I asked. “Why do you always say ‘I love you’ twice?”
She smiled. “Once for your heart. Twice to leave an imprint.”
25Landon
Just when I started to think things were on the up-and-up, Monica had to try to drag me back into her realm of darkness. She sent me videos of her hooking up and doing drugs with KJ. It was clear she was trying to bait me. Maybe she was hoping she’d make me jealous, but truthfully, it only made me sad for her. KJ was clearly taking advantage of her. I wanted to text her that she deserved better, but I worried she’d take that as me saying I was what was better for her.
So I didn’t text.
Two days later, I received a group text that made me want to vomit.
Hank:Did you hear about Monica?
Raine:Dude, it’s crazy!
Me:What happened?
Greyson:She overdosed tonight at some party. I guess she’s at the hospital.
My head felt like exploding as I kept reading the wordoverdose.
Flashes of Lance came back to me. How he overdosed, how he lost his life, and how I couldn’t save him. Then I thought about my last conversation with Monica, when she asked who was going to choose her. She questioned who was going to stand by her side, and I straight-up told her it wasn’t going to be me.
Fuck, Monica. Why?
I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t breathe. But somehow I managed to stand and grab my keys. I headed out to the hospital to sit with her because I was almost certain she wouldn’t have anyone else coming out to be by her side.
26Shay
Raine told me what happened to Monica, and my first concern was Landon. I knew he had to be hurting from the fact that Monica had overdosed. You couldn’t ignore the fact that the two of them had history. I knew his mind was probably taking him to the darkest corners of his soul.
I headed straight to the hospital and found Landon sitting alone in the waiting room. His head was down, and his hands were clasped together. His knuckles were white from his tight grip, and he looked as if every part of him was shattered. His shoulders were hunched, and his sleeves were pushed up, revealing the scars he’d worked so hard to hide from the world.
Oh, Landon. Where is your mind tonight?
I walked over to him and placed a hand on his shoulder.
He looked up with confusion in his bloodshot baby blues. “What are you doing here?” he whispered, sniffling as he tilted his head.
“This,” I told him. I lifted my chair and sat it directly in front of him. I took a seat and then unclenched his fists and took his hands into mine. I held on to him, feeling the tremors in his body. “I’m doing this.”
He parted his mouth to speak, but no sounds came out. I held his hands even tighter as I watched the corner of his mouth twitch.
“Shay...” he started.
“It’s OK. We don’t have to talk. I just want to be here for you.”
He grimaced and cleared his throat as a few tears rolled down his cheeks.
“What are you doing here?!” a voice hissed, this time toward Landon.
He quickly stood and cleared his throat. “Mr. and Mrs.Cole, hi.” He brushed his hand against his forehead and didn’t make eye contact with them. “I heard about your daughter and wanted to make sure she was OK.”
Monica’s parents.
“That is none of your business,” Mrs.Cole barked. “It’s probably because of you that she’s in the state she is! You’ve always been dragging our daughter into troubled waters, and now it finally reached the limit. Our poor Monica is here because of you and your bad influence.”
“You’re probably the one who gave her the drugs she overdosed on. This is your fault,” Mr.Cole hissed. His words were coated in hate, which only made me despise him more.