To feel excited?
To feel alive?
I didn’t think it would’ve felt as good without Shay there beside me. My Juliet.
When we finished the show, we received a standing ovation. We took our final bows, my hand locked with Shay’s. While her eyes were on the audience, mine were on her. I couldn’tstop smiling at her like a damn fool, but she had a way of making me do that a lot more often. She had a way of making everything feel better.
Yeah... I definitely lost that little bet of ours. But if I had to lose a bet to love her, I’d lose said bet for the rest of my life.
After the show, I said goodbye to Shay as she went to have a celebratory dinner with her mom and Maria. Maria made me cupcakes, because of course she did. Maybe my parents didn’t show up to the performance, but at least I did have family there in a roundabout way. Maybe not by blood, but by heart. And it was because of Shay and Maria that my heart was still beating.
That was until I reached my car and put my hand on the handle.
“Landon!” a voice called out, and I tensed up. I turned around to see Mom standing there with a bouquet of flowers in her hands.
“What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be in Rome or something?” I asked, stunned to see her and still hurt by her abandonment at my birthday.
“Maria told me about parents’ night, and I flew in as fast as I could so I wouldn’t miss it. I landed earlier today. The show... you...” Her eyes watered as her hands grew shaky. She looked broken down. Sad, even. And even though I was working really hard to hate her, I still wanted to walk over and wrap her in my arms to make sure she was OK.
Damn.
I wondered when that would go away. I wondered when I’d stop being a mama’s boy and be strong enough to hate her.
Never.
I’d never hate my mother.
“You were amazing,” she said. “You were astonishing on that stage, Landon. What you did was beyond words. I didn’tknow you had that in you, but then again, it makes sense. I always knew you’d be good at whatever you decided to do. I’m so proud of you.”
I didn’t say anything because my mind was still spinning. I still wanted to hug her like the fool I was, I still wanted to hate her, but I was so happy to hear that she was proud of me.
“You missed my birthday,” I shot at her, and I hoped the bitterness of my tone hit her heart.
“Yes... I know.”
“I needed... I needed you, and you weren’t there.”
I’d never admitted to needing anything or anyone because I thought it would make me weak. Yet there I was—weak, broken, and still in need of that fucking hug.
I cleared my throat. “I needed you, Mom, and you still left me alone on the hardest day. Didn’t you know? Didn’t you know I needed you?”
“I did,” she said. She lowered her head and stared at the parking lot pavement.
“That’s it? That’s all you can give me? Because honestly, I’m going to need a lot more than that.”
“Landon... your father and I... he... we’re...” She swallowed hard and looked back up to me. “Your father is leaving me.”
Wait... what?
She nervously shifted around in her shoes. “We’ve been struggling for some time now, ever since Lance passed away. We fought a lot over my brother’s death, and he blamed me for your struggles, for allowing Lance to stay with us all those years.”
“That’s bullshit.”
“Sometimes I wonder if he’s right. Sometimes I wonder about the mistakes I’ve made raising you around my brother, knowing of his mental struggles.”
“Lance was a good man, Mom. He taught me a lot of good. Life was better with him around. With you both around.”
A weighted sigh slipped through her lips. “It’s good to hear that, Landon. You have no clue. But your father isn’t in love with me anymore and doesn’t wish to continue in this marriage. He said he doesn’t feel as if we are a right fit, and therefore he’s leaving me. It’s been in the works for a while now. I’ve been struggling, trying to find my footing. When I married your father, I thought it would be forever. So when he gave me a prenup, I signed it without a moment’s thought. But... he’s taking everything, Landon. He’s leaving me with nothing. That’s why I was in Hawaii, meeting with Katie’s divorce lawyer. Then the girls were using their connections to land me stylist jobs in the fashion industry. That’s why I started working again. I needed some kind of income.”