She smiled up at me and stood to her feet. “How is she?”
“Alive and starting the path to healing.”
“Good. I’m glad. I hate that she has to go through this.”
“Me too, but sometimes you have to walk through the darkness for a while before you’re able to reach the light. She’ll get there. I’ll make sure she does.”
“And what about you? What about your light?”
“I’m seeing a little more of it each day.”
“Good.” She nodded once. “That’s so good.” She shifted around in her shoes before glancing up at me again. “Do you want a ride to your hotel?”
“That would be great.”
We drove in silence, and every now and again, Shay would glance my way. I saw the worry in her eyes. She seemed worried that I was living too much in my head—which I was. I was too exhausted to put on a mask and act as if I were all right. Besides, I didn’t want to wear masks around Shay anymore. I wanted her to see all of me. Even the hard parts.
She walked me to my hotel room, and I thanked her for everything.
“You shouldn’t be alone tonight,” she commented, leaning against the doorframe.
“I’ll be OK.”
Shay stuffed her hands into her jeans pockets and slightly swayed back and forth. “Landon...” she whispered, her voice low and tamed. “If you tell me to stay, I’ll stay. If you tell me to go, I’ll stay even longer.”
That was enough to make me nod slowly and step aside so she could walk into the hotel room. She closed the door behind her and looked at me with such care.
“What can I do?” she asked.
I didn’t know. She couldn’t erase what happened to Karla. She couldn’t go back in time and change history. She couldn’t stop the troubled thoughts soaring through my head.
But she could do one thing, and perhaps that was what I needed most right in that moment.
“Can I hold you?” I softly spoke, lowering my head.
I needed her close to me that night. I needed to wrap her in my embrace and hold on tight so I would be reminded of the fact that I wasn’t alone.
She placed her arms around me and pulled me closer. She melted into my arms, as if all she was ever meant to do was rest against my body. When I told her she could let go, that was when she held on tighter.
I was so grateful for that woman’s embrace.
52Shay
“I’m fine, really, Shay. It’s funny, the only thought going through my head right now is that I’m exhausted. I really want to crawl into my bed and go to sleep,” Landon said, rubbing his tired eyes. I’d spent the past three hours with my arms wrapped around him, and if I were honest, I wasn’t ready to let him go.
I narrowed my eyes at him, uncertain of what to believe. Because for the most part, he seemed all right. He seemed as if he was handling everything perfectly well. Then again, I also knew Landon. I knew how he hid his hurts from the outside world. How he tried his best to be strong even when all he wanted to do was fall apart. I knew how his cracked heart beat crookedly.
So the last thing I wanted was for me to go back to my place and leave him to fall apart all on his own. If he was going to fall apart, I wanted to be there to catch him.
“I’ll stay the night with you,” I whispered.
“What? No. I’m fine, really, Shay. There’s nothing to worry about. I’m good.”
“Let me stay tonight. Just until morning, and then you can kick me out.”
He stared at me with his shoulders back, showcasing his strength, but in those blue eyes of his, I saw his pain. It came in flashes, and he oftentimes tried to blink it away. His heart was broken for Karla, and I wasn’t sure how it would ever heal if he kept everything inside.
“I’m OK,” he whispered, and this time his voice was a little shakier than before.