The tears sitting at the back of Mom’s eyes began rolling down her cheeks, and David was quick to soothe her. Mima was staring at me with shock in her eyes.
“Shannon Sofia, maybe you should go if you are going to have that attitude. This is a joyous occasion, and I won’t let you ruin this for your mother.”
Mima was right. I should’ve left, because nothing about me was feeling joyful in that moment. I felt confused. Betrayed. Mom spent years expressing how men were evil. How could she just up and change her mind one day and act as if it was normal?
I gathered my things and murmured an apology on my way out.
“Shay, wait!” a voice called after me as I was walking down the hallway.
I turned to see David chasing after me. A knot formed in my stomach as he approached me, and I pulled my purse closer to my chest.
“Yes?”
He rubbed his hand against his full salt-and-pepper beard and sighed. “I know you don’t trust me. You have every reason to be wary. You don’t know me from Dick or Jane, but I promise on everything that I am that I love your mother. I love her so much in ways that I didn’t know love could exist, and I will spend forever proving to both her and you that my love is true.”
“I’m sorry, this is just too much for me. You have no clue what my family has been through.”
“I know. I only know the things Camila has shared withme about your father, and your grandfather, and I know that there is a lot of trauma. I want you to know that I’m OK with you not trusting me right off the bat. Trust is earned, not given. Take as much time as you need.”
I left my grandmother’s with heavy guilt sitting on my chest for making my mother cry. I ended up at Landon’s place.
I wasn’t even sure why. I should’ve gone home.
When Landon let me into his place, his eyes locked with mine. His stare looked heavy like my own. I wondered if he looked broken because he knew I was broken. He walked over to me and wrapped his arms around my body.
That night I broke my own set of rules... I stayed the night at his place.
I cried in his arms. He let me fall apart.
I should’ve gone home, I thought to myself again.
Oddly enough, as my heart shattered in his arms, as I fell asleep with his arms wrapped around me, I felt as if I was already there.
I felt as if I was already home.
That petrified me.
49Shay
Landon and I spent the night together, and I begged him not to bring it up the next day when we were on set.
That morning, I did my best to shake Mom and David’s engagement news from my mind. I also tried to shake Landon away from my brain, but he always seemed to linger in my thoughts. Lucky for me, Sarah kept me busy at work so Landon couldn’t occupyallof my thoughts.
“I need you to run lines with him,” Sarah instructed me after she finished getting ready in hair and makeup.
“With who?”
“Landon.”
“What do you mean run lines with him?” I asked, sitting at her table.
“You know—run lines,” she echoed as if I were straight-up dumb. “He asked me to do them with him the other day, but I’m too busy. I have a Reiki master coming in to give me a session.”
“Can’t his assistant Willow do it?”
“Yes, she can,” Sarah agreed, but she gave me a devilish grin. “But it should be you. That way you can get me some more information on him. Like his new favorite hobbies or foods. I want to plan something for him, but I need more dirt.”
“To be honest, I don’t really feel comfortable doing all of this, Sarah.”